Drowning

Chapter 56: Dead To Me

Song//Bleed Out by Isak Danielson
Highly recommended//put on repeat

(Seriously put this shit on right tf now it gets DEEP)

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⚠️ WARNING  ⚠️
this chapter includes graphic content of attempt of suicide, suicidal thoughts, and intense emotions that may trigger some people. Read with caution, and always reach out for help if you're experiencing any of the following. Thank you, and enjoy.

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Veronica's POV

*__________An Hour Earlier__________*

"Screw you." I mumbled to Aubrey before I fled the house.

I'll make everything better, though.

Nobody will be dragged down by me anymore. My "friends" can live in peace and not worry whether who is with who. My mom won't have to waste her pathetic time on an even more pathetic child.

I hopped in my car and drove to my house. Once I parked in the driveway I unbuckled my seat, got out of my car, and slammed the door shut.

My eyes were so packed up with tears, my vision was blurry. I walked up to the front door and swung it open. When I did, I heard the usual day-to-day arguing my aunt and uncle always do, so I closed the door gently. If I slammed it, then they'd start yelling at me instead.

And let's just say I wasn't in the mood for a family convo.

I quickly wiped my tears away and took a few deep breaths to make myself look normal and not like I was weeping 30 seconds ago. But that's just incase they catch a glimpse of my face.

I wanted to wail so badly, but I swallowed the ball in my throat and held it in. I speed walked past my aunt and uncle, as they continued their loud yelling without even acknowledging me, until I reached the end of the hall.

Finally I reached my room and I ran inside. I gently closed the door behind me again, and then dramatically threw myself on my bed.

Since my aunt and uncle were yelling so loud, they wouldn't be able to here the few groans coming from my mouth as I wept. I wept and wept and wept.

I wept so hard, my chest began to hurt a little. My face was deeply buried in my pillow, but I could still feel how much it was soaked by my never ending stream of tears.

I felt so much pain, but I didn't know how to make it go away. I don't think anyone would know how to either.

But it's not like anyone would do it for me anyway.

I'm worthless. I don't deserve to even live. Why'd I think I could love or even be loved?

I'm so idiotic, it's disgusting.

But that's what I am.

I'm disgusting. I'm despicable. I'm useless, worthless, and loveless. I'll never amount to anything in life; nobody will ever love me.

My own mother doesn't love me. At least not enough to communicate with me.

I gathered as much of my strength as I could and picked myself up from my bed. I walked into the conjoined bathroom and looked in the mirror to see my enemy face-to-face.