A Light in the Dark // Flicker Series Part I #wattys2019

You Are in Love

Chapter 88
Niall's POV // You Are in Love

December 31st - 1 day.

4am and I'm wide awake.

Maybe at this point my body can sense when I'm about to throw it into a different time zone again, so it's trying to prepare itself by keeping me up all night. Or maybe it's just the coffee we had at Beck's a few hours ago.

I wish I could blame either of those thing, but i know i'm actually wide awake because of this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that I just can't shake.

I have this awful feeling gnawing away at me because I'm leaving Evie today, on New Years Eve of all days, and I absolutely hate myself for it.

We had a perfect date last night that ended with a midnight Happy New Years kiss on the park bench where we shared our first kiss, but I still can't shake this feeling.

Evie keeps reassuring me that it's fine and we will have a hundred more New Years to spend together, but that is not helping me sleep any better tonight.

"Happy New Year." I said at 12:01 this morning after our kiss on the park bench that was just as mind blowing as our first.

"Happy New Year." Evie repeated with that glorious, and blissfully sleepy smile floating across her face. Her lips were swollen, as I'm sure mine were as well, because let's be honest that was an excellent kiss.

"I'm sorry it's a day off." I apologized, for what was probably the hundredth time.

"Niall." Evie let out an exasperated sigh and I immediately hated myself for taking that perfect smile from her face when she had been so happy the second before. "I told you to stop apologizing."

"I know. I just hate I can't give you a real New Years for our first one together."

"I told you this is how I wanted to spend our new years anyway. Please don't be upset, that makes me more sad than you not being here tomorrow. New Years is just a day on the calendar, baby, I don't care when we celebrate I just care that we did something together." She explained graciously, cupping my jaw and leaning her forehead against mine.

I know this isn't my fault, she knows this isn't my fault, and we did celebrate together...so why do I still feel awful?!

I roll onto my side, trying to find a comfortable spot again as I have been for the last 3 hours, and I settle down when I see her peacefully sleeping next to me with her hands cradled under her face.

I meant every word I said tonight when I told her about the moment I fell in love with her. She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, especially in moments like this where her guard is down. I know she's not worried or stressed, she's completely perfect when she's not even trying. That's my Evie.

Truthfully, I don't think there is one specific moment that you fall in love with some one. I think there is a first time that you fall in love with some one, and then after that I believe there are a thousand tiny little moments that make you fall in love over and over again.