Mr Rude & Me (Undergoing Editing)

(34): Kyle Everything

I couldn't sleep.

I kept tossing and turning, my thoughts refusing to shut the hell up and give me a break. I kept replaying what happened tonight. Kyle laughing so much, Kyle telling me about Riley, Kyle being half-naked, Kyle looking at my lips, Kyle touching my lips and then finally, Kyle retracting.

Kyle everything!

And then it got worse. Do I... have a crush on him? Dare I ask, do I like him? And if I do... since when? How did it happen? Weren't we just friend just yesterday ago? What are these feelings I felt for him tonight? Is tonight the first time that I felt like this or has it happened before and I just chose to ignore it?

Oh god.

I can't possibly like him. I very much don't think I'm his type anyways. And I don't think he's mine either. I've never really liked bad boys or players. So why would I like him?

Plus, what would our friends say? I wouldn't hear the end of it. Maybe they're the one who jinxed it. Also all those people thinking we're boyfriend and girlfriend.

I hope I don't like him. I really do.

This morning (since it was past midnight), after we got out of the dam, he luckily had a blanket in his trunk so he let me borrow it while he gathered my clothes for me and got back into his half-wet ones.

That was very nice of him.

He said he'd drive after promising that he was fully sober and I agreed because I was too tired to anyways. We drove in silence to the apartment, it wasn't really awkward or anything but so much had happened that I think we both just wanted to fully digest it.

We got to the house, entered, he cracked a few jokes which I now forgot because I was too deep in my thoughts. He offered me some hot chocolate to which I refused. He then said that I needed to take a warm shower or else I would be sick.

Again: so fucking nice.

He wished me a good night and also went to go take one in his own room. I think he wanted to say something else but decided against it.

And yeah, that was basically it.

Maybe I should start avoiding him. I mean if I don't like him now, then it's only a matter of time until I really will.

I feel things for him. Scary things.

I can't even deny that part myself. It's weird and I don't know what to do. I didn't even feel this way for Noah.

Am I too far gone?

Ugh! I hate being a girl! Why do we have to overthink every little thing? I'm sure he slept peacefully throughout the whole night, not even giving my name or face one thought.

I think I only get two hours of sleep.

***

"Woah, you look like a zombie" Kyle breathes when I emerge from my bedroom.

I'm once again in my pajamas, but warm and full ones this time because I was freezing when I got to bed. They're black and white with a cute little panda on the fuzzy top.

I scowl "That's what happens when I'm disturbed of my slumber at eleven pm and only return at three am"

"Good times"

Tell me about it.

But I can't believe we're both acting like nothing happened. Maybe it was nothing though. Why dwell on it?

"What time do you have to meet your mom for coffee?" I ask as I grab a granola bar.

"Woah. Thanks for the reminder. I totally forgot about that" He shakes his head.