Station 11

quarante sept

And so the weeks passed. I was sitting in the back of our little practice room and watched the other boys' progress. Soonyoung was often turning around to me and wanted to know if I could follow. I always replied with a smile and a nod.
The practice was before dinner, so we decided to sit all together at a table. Everyone was talking and having conversations, but I spotted Junhui just blankly staring at his plate and being far away with his thoughts. He was also not sitting next to me, which was unusual, as he always annoyed the others so long until they finally stood up, so the seat next to me was free so he could sit down.
He was not even properly chewing and before I wanted to ask him, he choked on his food. The other boys started laughing, but I only raised my eyebrows, being surprised.
His waterglass was empty, so he quickly stood up with tears in his eyes to get some more water. Chan couldn't stop laughing and was hitting my shoulder. I forced out my smile, but was also worried about him.
Junhui came back and finally calmed down. The other boys were teasing him, imitating his expressions. Junhui just smiled and didn't say anything.
He left after we finished with lunch, even though he always used to wait with me.
It was just Mingyu and me. And even Mingyu was surprised about Junhui's behavior.

"Did you guys fight or something?", he asked me exactly in the moment Junhui disappeared from our eyes.

"No, I am just as confused as you are. Maybe I did something wrong. But Junhui usually tells me immediately if something bothers him. He is not the type that completely ignores me", I sighed after finishing my sentence.
I leaned back on my seat, while my eyes kept looking over to the exit of the cafeteria.

"He didn't seem mad. Just kinda lost in his own thoughts", Mingyu told me and also leaned back. "If he doesn't talk you should try"
I nodded. Mingyu was right. I shouldn't let myself stay worried like that.
I waited really impatiently until our wait time was over and jumped out of my chair to leave.
Mingyu tapped my shoulder twice and gave me an encouraging smile.
It couldn't be something serious. Maybe I was just exagarating everything.

I opened the door to Junhui's room and saw him lying on his bed with a chinese comic in his hand.
"Hey", he said and smiled. No he didn't smile. He tried to.
"Hey", I repeated and came a few steps closer. "Is everything all right?", I asked him and finally had the courage to sat on his bed.

"Yeah, sure", he replied and had this weird, fake smile again on his lips.
Was this how Junhui felt everytime I lied about pretending to eat food? Were my lies as obvious as his smile at the moment? Did he really think I believe him?

"Okay, you just seemed so spaced out", I wanted him so bad to talk about it. I felt like he couldn't trust me enough. He still wanted to be that tough guy.

"Minghao, did I ever thank you?", Junhui's question caught me off guard.

"Uhm, yes I guess you did once or twice", I mumbled, not sure what was about to come out next from Junhui's lips. 

"Did you get the feeling that I really meant the words I said. The feeling that I was completely honest with you?", he came closer with his face. His expression was soft, but also very serious.

"What is going on with you? Why do suddenly ask me all this?", I leaned back to get more distance between us.

"I just wanted to thank you. For everything. You saved me. You made me into a person that can accept love and trust and that can actually return it. I love you for that and for so other  many reasons, too", after letting out his words, he came closer again, wanting to kiss me, but I moved my head back a second time.

"Junhui, I love you, too. But I need to know why you are talking like that", my voice got louder. I wanted to finally have an answer and I wad serious about this. 
Junhui just sighed and had his weird smile on again.

"It's nothing, Minghao. I just felt a little bad that I never told you that"
Junhui was straight up lying to my face. His eyes were shaking. His voice was too high. And his hands were nervously playing with each other.

"That's okay", I still decided to go along with his lies.

"Really?"

"I mean now you did tell me all these things. Thank you, I guess", and then Junhui's lips finally got to kiss me.
This kiss was also different. Not fake, but too desperate. Too much emotion and feelings. It felt like Junhui would die if he wouldn't kiss me like that.

"I should go back to my room", I wanted to end this conversation. It made me uncomfortable. This whole situation felt surreal.
Junhui nodded and with that I stood up from his bed and went to the door.

"Minghao", Junhui's voice appeared behind me.

"Hm?"

"Nothing. Nevermind", he let out an awkward chukle.
I closed the door behind me and went back to my room. Mingyu was having a session now so I couldn't talk to him anymore for today.
I decided to get ready for bed.
.
The next morning someone tapped my shoulder. It was weird to have Soonyoung being the first thing you see after waking up.

"What is it?", I whispered, my voice wad not ready yet for talking.

"Come with me to my room", he said and I was awake immediately. This was about Junhui.
We left my room and right before Soonyoung was about to open the door to his room, he hesitated.

"I am really sorry, Minghao", he whispered and put his hand onto my shoulder.
I couldn't take his words, they felt empty. I was too curious about what was going on.
An intense look into Soonyoung's eyes and he realised how impatient I was.

"Ok", his voice was still quiet.
He opened the door and I spotted a brown haired boy sitting on the bed. Junhui's bed.  The stranger turned around and his eyes seemed friendly.
They weren't Junhui's eyes.
"Hey, nice to meet you. My name is Hansol", he stood up to greet me, but I left the room.
Junhui was gone.

Hello with a cliffhanger.
We are slooowly coming to an end lf this story. I planned the ending before I even knew what to do during the rest of the stay. So I am so excited to finally write down my ideas that I've planned for years. I hope you'll enjoy it!:)