Station 11

epilogue.

My hands feel numb in this cold winter. I am holding Junhui's hand, but that doesn't change much. We are in huge winter jackets and our faces are hidden behind a face mask. We are walking around, looking at the tombstones covered in a white coating of stone.

It's been a year since Seventeen debuted as a twelve membered group. Soonyoung is amazing, trying to convince Jisoo to join us. Jihoon already knew how sweet his voice was. So Jisoo turned from a former nurse to a singer and to one of our closest friends.

But now we are alone. Only Junhui and me. Looking for Chan. He never wanted us to come to his funeral, but wanted us to visit him at least. He should know that Seventeen is doing great and so are we.

I am still falling back sometimes. Sometimes my head still refuses to accept certain food, but I am not alone. Junhui or my other friends are with me. Helping me through. Just like my mum and Dr. Nam.

The last two years changed me the most. From being a person scared to get touched, because I felt disgusted. A person that was barely eating and refusing to accept that it was an illness indeed. A person who wanted to save everything himself. A person who never experienced real love.

I am finally turning into the Minghao I always wanted to be. Accepting help, loving the people around me. Especially Junhui.

We stop at Lee Chan's grave. It's shimmering in the sun. The snow slightly covers his name. I wipe over it with my bare hand. My heart aches, after seeing the numbers.

1999 - 2018

I kneel down to look at the frozen  flowers on his grave. They still look pretty to me.

Junhui starts to talk. About everything Chan has missed in the past year. I listen and hope he does, too. Junhui's voice is beautiful as ever and his bad jokes make me chuckle.

"And if you wonder, yes, I still love Minghao as much as in the day I told you the first time. Wait, sorry. I think I love him even more", he ends his stories with these words and made me blush. 

It's my turn to talk. So I do. I talk about everything that happened in the last two years. Like Chan was never with us. Like Junhui was never with me. I tell him everything from the very beginning.

"I love him, too. In case you forgot. More than I ever thought I could love someone", I said to Chan after finishing my monologue, but looked into Junhui's eyes. His nose is red from the cold. His lower lip is slightly tembling.

I stand up, go up to him and kiss him. His lips are very cold, but I ignore it. My body is warming up anyways, like it always does when I kiss him. I close my eyes, after Junhui does.

And somewhere, where ever Chan is, he is probably clapping and laughing at us. I am sure about that.

the end.