REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
This one doesn't quite follow the format I prefer, but I'll still review it since you went out of your way to request it FadingLeaves My comments will be in bold.
Grounding + character information
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Okay damn, there is a lot more information here than I asked for but that isn't a bad thing at all. This shows me that the character is incredibly well thought out and detailed. The character description is probably the most detailed I've ever read and it's incredibly well planned out, so we'll done to you. I don't have anything wrong with this section since everything seems really well done. Her personality is well balanced too, which adds to the charm of the character.
Relationships
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As you said in your comment, this needs further development so I will leave this section alone since there's nothing I can really say except to develop it further.
Backstory (kinda?)
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I like the concept of this plot but it managed to baffle me and it's a summery, it may be just because I'm very busy at the moment so I'm struggling slightly (sorry by the way), but my only advice here is to make sure you explain everything in full over a period of time when you're actually writing the plot. Explaining it in one big go will bore the reader and potentially overwhelm them, but putting things together over time will let the reader get used to new concepts and possibilities.
Stats This part was N/A, so this is just a note that even if you don't think stats are needed, they're useful and give you a baring of how your character may respond in certain situations. Aim for most stats to be in the mid range, one that's lower than the rest and only one that is higher than the rest at most. This will make your character seem more balanced.
Final thoughts I genuinely like reading about wealthier characters so I may be biased about this one, but I like her personality and traits. Like mentioned earlier, I'm pretty busy at the moment so I'm sorry that this is so short, if you really dislike what I've written, then just ask and I'll redo this at a later date. But, overall this is an incredibly well thought out especially regarding the appearance. Basically, I like her, so good job.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you of course do not have to listen to what I've said. This us all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
