REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
Here is a character from an original universe by IcantwriteforLife I've tried to reorder the information so it fits my review form better, but there is still some information missing, leading me to believe that you didn't follow my form. (Please follow my form if you submit a character because it makes my life easier)
My comments will be in bold Basics and grounding
Hoppla! Dieses Bild entspricht nicht unseren inhaltlichen Richtlinien. Um mit dem Veröffentlichen fortfahren zu können, entferne es bitte oder lade ein anderes Bild hoch.
This was originally before the backstory, but it fits better here. When introducing so many new concepts, I recommend explaining in more detail and not just throwing them at the reader.
Character information
Hoppla! Dieses Bild entspricht nicht unseren inhaltlichen Richtlinien. Um mit dem Veröffentlichen fortfahren zu können, entferne es bitte oder lade ein anderes Bild hoch.
Sorry, I'm slightly confused, you didn't state the species until the description where you state she's a wolf, do you mean she's an anthropomorphic wolf? I assume that considering she's wearing a lab coat and likes playing with daggers.
If anything, you need to go into more detail with most of this for the character to feel more real. For example, talking about her likes in her appearance is out of place. Just talk about her appearance.
The most important part to be detailed in is the personality, a personality is what makes up a character. Normally I would recommend writing a paragraph on the character's personality to use as a reference and maintain believable and constant character traits.
Relationships
Hoppla! Dieses Bild entspricht nicht unseren inhaltlichen Richtlinien. Um mit dem Veröffentlichen fortfahren zu können, entferne es bitte oder lade ein anderes Bild hoch.
I don't really know what this means since I don't have any information on the universe, but make sure that you don't overdo the dead parent's thing.
Backstory
Hoppla! Dieses Bild entspricht nicht unseren inhaltlichen Richtlinien. Um mit dem Veröffentlichen fortfahren zu können, entferne es bitte oder lade ein anderes Bild hoch.
I don't know who any of this characters are. Maybe you should introduce them more?? This backstory is fine but just make sure that if you ever write her story that it's more detailed. Other
Hoppla! Dieses Bild entspricht nicht unseren inhaltlichen Richtlinien. Um mit dem Veröffentlichen fortfahren zu können, entferne es bitte oder lade ein anderes Bild hoch.
This illness must be shown in the story, you can't just throw it in and forget about it, but apart from that, it's fine.
Stats N/A I recommend giving your character stats to give a grounding on what you're working with so you know where your character stands.
Final thoughts All you really need to do here is add more detail and develop your character more to make the character more believable and easier to understand.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
