Review 176 // Rin Lee

159 7 1
                                    

Here is a review for -Night_Life-

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

I've never actually reviewed a character for haikyuu so this should be fun

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I've never actually reviewed a character for haikyuu so this should be fun.

Character information

This sounds pretty good and she's clearly had some thought put into her, however I think you could add more detail to her personality and appearance, more specifically her appearance though

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This sounds pretty good and she's clearly had some thought put into her, however I think you could add more detail to her personality and appearance, more specifically her appearance though. Like what's her body shape, weight, face shape, eye shape, yanno all that stuff.

Relationships

I suggest coming up with the names of her family members if you haven't already and adding Relationships and friendships with characters outside of canon

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I suggest coming up with the names of her family members if you haven't already and adding Relationships and friendships with characters outside of canon. Apart from that just build up these relationships and make sure they help develop her further.

Backstory

Okay, this somewhat works but you're missing a large chunk of information here

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Okay, this somewhat works but you're missing a large chunk of information here. What was he life like before this, her earlier childhood and everything? Why did her dad leave? What happened there? And the whole bruising thing is a strange addition, if I were to write this and want that reaction from the fellow students I'd have it so that she lashes out after her father's leave and she gets into a fight right before the school year starts. That way she can still have the concerned reaction but it feels more realistic and not as forced. Also make sure to mention her relationships with her mum and siblings along with how she ends up befriending Bokuto and the gang. Maybe have it so she's taken some previous interest in volleyball because everyone that's good has been training since at least middle school, and her stats suggest she's pretty skilled.

Stats

These stats are kinda high, I normally recommend only having one 5 that's balanced out with a 1 so maybe lower a couple of these

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These stats are kinda high, I normally recommend only having one 5 that's balanced out with a 1 so maybe lower a couple of these.

Final thoughts
I think this character is pretty good and has some pretty decent ideas in it, however some aspects need to be developed and work on in order to make her even better.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

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