Review 89 // Adam Benedict

84 5 6
                                    

Here we have a character for an original universe by zazalord

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

Sounds like a pretty cool concept

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Sounds like a pretty cool concept. Make sure that when you're designing a new universe like this that everything isn't thrown at the reader at once so you don't lose them.

Character information

Seems like a pretty realistic and grounded character, however, I think that you should add some more information regarding his personality and appearance

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Seems like a pretty realistic and grounded character, however, I think that you should add some more information regarding his personality and appearance. Developing these aspects and making them more detailed will help with the reader imagining him and also gives you more to work with.

Relationships

It's always nice to see married characters since they're pretty uncommon

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It's always nice to see married characters since they're pretty uncommon. If these relationships have an affect and help the character to develop, then I don't have an issue with them. Though, I think you should add more to these and make them more intricate so that you have more to work with.

Backstory

Backstory

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Again, all I can really tell you to do here is to add more detail and develop this further

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Again, all I can really tell you to do here is to add more detail and develop this further. The only thing that I have an issue with is that you have to be really lucky to survive a plane crash because, unless you crash in the ocean, they're deadly, but it depends on how the universe is built really.

Other

There is a very strong conflict in logic here

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There is a very strong conflict in logic here. He can either be good with guns or bad with them, they're isn't an opportunity for both. If you mean he's bad at fixing and making guns but good at using them, then I guess that works a lot better.

Stats

These stats are pretty balanced as far as things go so there's nothing for me to add here

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These stats are pretty balanced as far as things go so there's nothing for me to add here.

Final thoughts
I like the sound of this character but I think he needs to have some more development and detail. Apart from that, I really like this character, so good job!

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

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