Here we have an oc for an original universe by lasagna_writes_shit
My comments will be in bold
Basics and grounding
Careful taking inspiration from young adult fiction, some of the works can be easily criticised.
Character information
She sounds cute. I think you should add more positive traits to her personality and develop it further, since personality and characteristics are what make up a character in their core, so that would help improve her a lot.
Relationships
These relationships work as long as they add to the character and are well developed. The more these relationships shape you're character, the more realistic it comes across, especially the thing with her sister dying. That would probably reshape a person.
Back story
This can come across as slightly cliche, I suggest developing this further and adding some more positive things in her life, since not everything is somebody's life is going to be overwhelmingly negative.
Other
Not much to say here honestly.
Stats
These stats are fine, as long as they are displayed in the character.
Final thoughts
Sorry this is so short, for original characters it's harder to come up with points then it is with a character for an existing universe, since there's not set boundaries. I really just recommend developing this character further and adding the her personality and traits, that way she can be more unique and well fleshed out.*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
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OC reviews And Tips (Closed)
RandomREQUESTS ARE CLOSED Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...