Review 156 // Van Spieel

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Here is a review for VividVenus

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

Some pretty cool inspirations

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.

Some pretty cool inspirations.

Character information

Character information

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.

I like the sound of this character so far and she very well described with a lot of detail put into her

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.


I like the sound of this character so far and she very well described with a lot of detail put into her. The only issue I can see is that she could be compared to magi due to the colour scheme and the covering emotions. I don't think it's that much of a problem personally but just be ready for some comparisons.

Relationships

Again, all of this is pretty good but I suggest putting names to all these people and naming some set in stone friends for her

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.

Again, all of this is pretty good but I suggest putting names to all these people and naming some set in stone friends for her.

You asked for my help with romance and as far as it goes it sounds pretty good in summery. Since they have an opposites attract relationship I suggest doing enimies to lovers. And by that I mean hating eachother to kinda getting along to spiteful but flirty friendship to lovers. Sprinkle in a couple of actual deep and emotional moments to show it's more then sexual tention and physical attraction and bam, a love story that people can get behind because it's one of the most beloved tropes in romance. That's probably not that useful but that's the way I'd do it.

Backstory

Backstory

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.


Normally I would say that stories like this are unbelievable and need working out more and rewriting

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.

Normally I would say that stories like this are unbelievable and need working out more and rewriting. However, this is danganronpa and it's completely wack. Characters like this are scattered throughout the story and in the context of the final game, everything works better. Maybe add more detail so it feels like her actual story and tell us how she met her previous girlfriend and stuff like that.

Other

These are fine just don't make her too op

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.

These are fine just don't make her too op.

Stats

Stats are balanced but I don't ever recommend going lower then 0 because then that's a bit tricky to put logic into it

اوووه! هذه الصورة لا تتبع إرشادات المحتوى الخاصة بنا. لمتابعة النشر، يرجى إزالتها أو تحميل صورة أخرى.

Stats are balanced but I don't ever recommend going lower then 0 because then that's a bit tricky to put logic into it.

Final thoughts
This character is pretty good overall and I like the sound of her. Just add a couple of things and work it out a bit more and it should all be good to go.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

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