REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
I tend to be most critical to creepypasta then I am other universes, just a heads up.
Character information
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
This is a pretty cool concept but maybe work on the appearance. Because if you give complete freedom to the appearance being up to who is seeing it, that is a lot more of a scary concept then having some of the things always being the same, because that gives less room for manipulation. And you do that, the creature could even give off lovecraftion vibes.
Relationships
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Okay for the most part this is good. I like the interaction with the child because sometimes stuff like this works for the character. However, I don't ever support the creepypasta mansion thing and I don't think this character would work with it anyway. The mansion is more of a fanservice thing and I don't recall it being mentioned in any creepypasta piece that I actually take seriously. If you scrap that last bit then this is completely fine.
Backstory
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Again this gives strong lovecraftion vibes which you don't see enough in creepypasta ocs nowadays. Though, maybe come up with some reason behind it's creation apart from it being made out evil like you mentioned earlier.
Other
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
If you're going to make this a god-like creature, then this is fine but otherwise this is far too op and you need to give some kinda weakness either way.
Stats
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Stats are balanced but I normally only recommend giving one 5 so it stays reasonable.
Final thoughts I think this character is pretty good as far as creepypastas go because this kinda thing is more daunting then the typical serial killer. So maybe just tweak a couple of things and this should be good to go.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
