REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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Sounds like a pretty interesting concept.
Character information
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Alright so what you've given me is pretty good. I suggest adding more detail to his appearance description. I like that's he's 31 because you don't see that many older characters.
However you're missing information I asked for, including hobbies and more importantly, personality. It's hard to get a feel for a character with you not having give me a personality description. If you haven't written one, then you definitely need to sit down and write a paragraph about his personality.
Relationships
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Careful with the whole adoptive parents thing, it's very common and not always done very well.
Develop on these relationships a bit more and how they effect the character and these should be fine though.
Backstory
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Okay, I think this works alright but be careful with having so much tragedy at first. I don't think this is too much of an issue though since it's balanced out by the later story.
Though I do recommend be careful handling sexual abuse and assault, so try not to glamourise it. I'm not saying you are but a lot of writers do by mistake. There's a chapter in this book on writing abuse if you want to take a look at that to help.
You could also add the love interest in the relationship but aswell.
Other
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You mentioned that there's more powers then this in the Backstory so maybe tone those ones down a bit because we don't want him to be too op. A good character should struggle and being op takes that away.
Stats
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These aren't all the stats I asked for but that's fine I guess I'm not too fussed. The strength and speed doesn't quite fit what you've spoken about so I feel like they should be above average but that's fine.
Final thoughts I think you just need to develop certain aspects for and work on a couple of things and he should be a pretty decent character. Be sure to write out his personality too.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
