REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
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Alright you've given me some steady basics to the character which is good, but you need to add a lot more detail if you want to get somewhere with the character. This especially applies to the personality and appearance. I always recommend at least a paragraph for these. You need to describe her personality instead of just one word traits and I think you need to add more positive ones too. Appearance wise add stuff like her face shape, body shape, exact weight, stuff like that.
Relationships
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It's pretty solid cannon that Draco won't just be friends with anyone but as long as she blends into that crowd well it's fine. Also be careful shipping her with Luna, there shouldn't be anything wrong as long as it's written well. Be careful having parents be enemies/death eaters and all that because it's really common and rarely done well. Apart from that be sure to develop these and flesh them out to build the character.
Backstory
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This barely tells me anything about the actual character. You've told me briefly about her parents but what about her? Her childhood before hogwarts? Her time in hogwarts? How she befriended and met the people around her? What happened with her parents? What emotional response did she have to all of this? These things are important and you need to develop and flesh this out more because a Backstory can make or break a character.
Other
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These are fine but you should probably figure out which artist wrote that song.
Stats
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Balance out that 5 with a 1 and this should be all good.
Final thoughts I think that this character could be pretty good but you have to flesh her out and make her feel more real in order for her to really fit into the universe and have her smoothly transition into it.
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
