Review 170 // Diba Kasali

59 5 0
                                    

Here is a review for Nature-Morte

My comments will be in bold

Basics and grounding

This is good! Creepypasta is like the only universe where I say to avoid interacting with canon characters

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This is good! Creepypasta is like the only universe where I say to avoid interacting with canon characters.

Character information

Character information

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As shown in my previous reviews, I'm pretty critical of creepypasta ocs but this is actually very good

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As shown in my previous reviews, I'm pretty critical of creepypasta ocs but this is actually very good. Youve clearly done your research and put a lot of effort into this character. Her design is well thought out and fits the era and her ghost form makes sense. Though, I think you could put a liitle more detail into her personality so that it matches the same level of detail as her appearance. Add more traits and describe them in more depth, allowing for specific personality traits to be more prominent.

Relationships

This all fits for the time and I'd normally say to be careful of dead parents in this universe but it makes sense and was common at this time so you get a pass

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This all fits for the time and I'd normally say to be careful of dead parents in this universe but it makes sense and was common at this time so you get a pass. Make sure to develop the friendships she had in life because you could use that effectively need be.

Backstory

Backstory

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For the time this works, but there is maybe one or two issues

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For the time this works, but there is maybe one or two issues. If her mother spent so much time trying to teach her, then surely she should have more knowledge then she has, especially by the time she turns 18? And would her father actually have the power to sell her? Obviously you've put a lot of research into this but since her father is a slave himself, I don't reckon he's have the authority to actually remove his daughter from the situation? I'm not sure really but I feel like that's a point that can be made here.

Other

Creepypastas often have set ways of doing things so this is fine

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Creepypastas often have set ways of doing things so this is fine. I like this one a lot better then what I normally see do you get points for creativity.

Stats

Some of these stats are kinda high so try balancing those 4s out a bit more

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Some of these stats are kinda high so try balancing those 4s out a bit more.

Final thoughts
Overall I like this oc, a lot of thought has been put into her and she fits actual historical events for the most part. I think a couple of corrections here and there could really sort things though. She is very good as far as creepypasta ocs go, so good job.

*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you, of course, do not have to listen to what I've said. This is all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*

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