Chapter 48

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"It's not happening, it's not happening! Joonie will not die, he will not. He said he will always be by my side, how can he die....." Y/N shook her head continuously, muttered by herself, her face was getting paler and paler.

Jimin held her shoulder: "Y/N, calm down."

"Y/N, don't scare Grandma..." Grandma held Y/N both hands, her hands were so cold.

"It is me, it's all because of me. If it isn't for me, Joonie will be okay. It's my fault, I made him.... it's me...." Y/N pointed to herself, her tears were falling like a rain, her words suddenly stopped for a while, she felt her gaze started to fuzzy, she was be unable to see clearly, her body was limping, and fell down.

"Y/N!" Jimin supported her but she already fainted.

"Jimin, hurry up. Get her to rest for a while." said Joo Hyuk.

Jimin bent his waist and carried Y/N, he felt that her weight was so light, supposedly because recently she didn't really eat much.

Y/N didn't know how long had it been for her to sleep, she only remembered that she dreamt about Joon Min. In her dream, it was full of their memories together with him.

Joon Min's arrival in her life had given her a three years of most beautiful and best time of her life.

When he started to fade in her dream, she reached her hand to catch him, to hugged him. But no matter what she couldn't touch him, she could only look at his gradual disappearance.

No matter how loud she yelled at him, he didn't come back.

"Joon Min!" Y/N  yelled, she was awake from her dream.

She also didn't care where was she, she just threw her blanket away and got up from the bed. But a hand stopped her shoulder and made her unable to move.

She raised her head and faced Jimin: "Let go of me."

"You need to rest."

"I don't, I want to see Joonie." She moved his hand away and wore her jacket hurriedly. She was just about to take a few steps but she started to be dizzy. She stopped for a while and placed her hand on her head.

Jimin went over her then carried her back and placed her on the bed. She still wanted to get up, he tried to stop her: "Just rest for a while."

Y/N was really worried about him, how could she willing to rest even if it was only for awhile, she continuously trying to let go of Jimin's hand: "I want to look at Joonie..."

"The doctor is doing the surgery now, what can you do if you go there?"

"I still want to be as close as possible to him."

Jimin's face was gloomy, he used his hand to hold her chin: "Do you know your health condition now? Doctor said that you didn't have enough rest, you are malnutrition. You didn't even have the energy to stand, for what reason you say you want to be on his side? Even of you are waiting in front of the surgery door, what can you do? Can Joon Min be awake immediately?"

Y/N powerfully trying let go of Jimin's hand: "Park Jimin, let go, let me go, do you hear me?" She used her swollen red eyes to glare at him: "What is your right to say those to me? Yes, I cannot do anything by standing in front of that door, but I also still want to go. I want to be as close as possible to his side. I don't want him to be alone to bear the pain inside the surgery room, fighting his battle alone. If I just lay here, then what am I? I'm Joon Min's mother, if I don't close by his side, then who would be by his side? You? Park Jimin?"

Because she was malnutrition, she was exhausted both mentally and physically so she could faint any moment. Doctor just gave some nutrition injection for her, but because of her fierce movement, it started to tear.

But she didn't even knit her eyebrow.

She finally able pushed Jimin away, then used her hand to wipe her eyes, and looked at that man again: "In this life time, you will never understand the significance of Joon Min in my life."

"He is my life, but Park Jimin, what is he for you? Do you ever sincerely love him? You were abroad for four years, did you ever think about your son? Even if you hate me, loathed me, thought that I am a cunning woman, but Joon Min is innocent. All along he is your child, but these several years, you never come back home, not even once. You never even ask anything about him. Everyone thought Joon Min is a strong kid and he kept saying that I am enough for him. But have you ever thought that he just only a three years old kid? He also hope that there was a father by his side to protect him, to teach him and play together, he needs his father's love, but where were you?"

Y/N choked with her emotion and continued: "Joon Min is always a good kid, he never asked me where his father was. But just because he wasn't questioning it didn't mean that he didn't care. Every time he saw kids playing with their father, there is a disappointment in his eyes but I couldn't even do anything about it..."

She raised her head slowly and looked at him: "Park Jimin, if Joon Min didn't got this illness, I'm afraid that you would never coming back right? In your heart, there is never a place for him. Even for other woman, you were willing to blackmailed and forced me using your son, so...." She took a deep breath for a while and smiled coldly: "So you don't have right and qualification to say those to me."

Once Y/N was done, she turned her body and left the room, then she paced toward the surgery room.

Jimin just stood there, looked at her gradually disappear. He wanted to extend his arm to stop her at first, but his hand was stiffen.

Y/N's words before, each of words were like a sharp knife jabbed on his heart, now every breath he took was so painful.

So, he even didn't dare to breathe more deeply, because it felt even more painful.

Yes, Y/N's words were true. He really didn't deserve to be Joon Min's father, every time he needed him, he never by his side.

Also never looked at him attentively, never gave any kind of fatherly love toward him.

Being abroad for four years, precisely as Y/N said, he live his life as if he didn't have a son.

Because he hated Y/N too much, up to the extent he was not the least bit concerned about Joon Min.

He thought that he already gave them the greatest kindness, and it was a status, but he never thought about Joon Min's situation, also never attempted to understand what he wanted.

After two round of operation, the sky was already started to be bright. Finally Joon Min's bed was pushed out off the surgery room,

From 7 PM until 5 AM, he fully underwent around ten hours of surgery. Everyone was staying there and they waited outside.

Doctor's face appeared to be full of gratification.

Everyone walked to the front of him, he slightly smiled: "The surgery is successful, so don't be worry. Joon Min should be regained his conscious soon. But this time I hope you can be more focus with his condition, don't let his mood to be in bad situation again. Try to give him a calm environment."

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NOTE: let's get this bread!

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