FFL: Chapter Twenty-Nine [Pt.2]

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∞<3∞ Kim's POV ∞<3∞

His lips on mine was enough for me to be in another world. My heart jumped in my chest so hard that I thought it was about to get out. My brain wasn't thinking straight anymore and I could feel millions of butterflies and other strong sensations through my entire body. It definitely took my breath away. I suddenly stopped being insecure about myself and my feelings and it seemed like all the worries I had just went away. My only focus right now was August's soft lips that I hadn't tasted for so long. To be honest it felt like it had been thousand years. Until now, I didn't know how much I missed this. How much I missed him. How much I missed spending time with him and his goofy ass. How much I missed our relationship.

Now I was sure to know something and it was my love for August, but I didn't know if it was the right time for us to be. No, it was too early and what we were doing was wrong. Yes, maybe it was just a kiss, but this little and intense interaction woke a lot of emotions inside me that I couldn't control. It was already hard to deal with myself right now and it was going to be even more. I need to put an end to it.

But my body didn't want to, mainly my tongue that was dancing with his in harmony. And instead of enjoying the moment fully, I was thinking about what wasn't good. But it had to stop, because it was making me more confused and I didn't like it. So, I did what I had to. It was hard, really hard, it even brought tears in my eyes, but we couldn't continue. 

I unwrapped my arms around his neck and pulled away the faster I could, "Aug, we can't do this ! " I said looking at him. He seemed lost.

"Wh-What ? Why ? " He questioned frowning.

I sniffed, "I'm sorry, Aug. I...I...I'm confused." 

"Confused with what ? "

"With me ! I love you, but I can't be with you right now. And I was enjoying the kiss, but it's wrong. And this time again, I got that scary sensation running through my body when I said the three words. It's just a lot going on in my mind and mostly my heart. I'm tired of all this mess ! " I said feeling the water coming. I shook my head trying to hold the tears, but it didn't work. 

Aug sighed sadly and wrapped his arms around me, then let me cry on his chest. I was really exhausted. I wished I was never in this situation. When I thought everything was getting better, well it wasn't the case. The road to recovery was though. 

"Let all go out. I'm here, ya are not alone." He said caressing my back.

I wrapped my arms around his waist tighter, like to not let him leave me. His presence was reassuring me. I cried until I couldn't anymore and it took hours. We just stayed in this position, sat on bed, in each other's arms, silent, him caressing my back gently and me letting the water fall out of both of my eyes. 

Now, my eyes were puffy, my nose was a mess, and I had a little headache. I was surely looking like a monster. I pulled away from him and took a napkin, them went in the bathroom to clean my face. And there something happened. I was so shocked, I couldn't believe it was real. 

I was staring at my reflection in the mirror. I didn't even do it on purpose. I was agitating and suddenly my eyes laid on myself in the glass. It was weird to see my face after all these years. I hadn't really change, but I could see that I got older. And I had bruises on my cheek and my forehead. Fortunately, they were not as big as I thought. I didn't think that I was beautiful or ugly. To be honest, I felt like a stranger was looking at me in this mirror. It was just new to me to do this again. For people, it's normal, but when you went through what I experienced, it wasn't the same thing anymore. I observed each details of my face carefully to not miss one.

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