FFL: Chapter Thirty-Eight [Pt.4]

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∞<3∞ Kim's POV ∞<3∞

[ The Next Day ]

"Yall are ready to go back to school ? " August asked the girls as we were walking through the back to school aisle in Walmart. Today was the first day of their last week of summer and since Cha was busy, she asked Aug and I to shop with the girls. Once again, I knew exactly what she was trying to do. Yesterday, during the baby shower, we hadn't time to really talk with everybody that was there.

That's why I said yes when Cha called me this morning also. I wanted to spend some time with him. Last night, I couldn't stop thinking about him and our relationship. I even dreamt about him. I realized that actually I was trying to ignore the strong feelings I felt towards him more than anything else. But I was confused and scared also. Aug was making me feel some type of way, but...I don't know. I thought that I was moving on since New York, but I wasn't going to recover in a snap.

Or maybe I was thinking too much and should just go with the flow.

I shook my head to make all the thoughts go away. It was starting to give me a headache. I really didn't know what to do with Aug though. One part of me wanted to be with him so bad, but another part was holding me back for some reason. I knew and he said that he won't hurt me, but people promise something and one minute later they're doing the total contrary. Three years ago, he promised me to be a better boyfriend and to give me more attention and I believed him. He kept this promised for a couple of days and then the old Aug was back and I was passing after everything and everybody else. I didn't want to go back to that. But I couldn't stop loving him.

I was so lost. 

"Auntie Kim, did ya hear me ? " Kay asked snapping her little fingers in front of my face. I blinked getting out of my trance. I didn't even know that I got into one.

"Uh...No, sorry. What did you say ? " 

"I don't know which one I want. This one ? " She showed me a Hello Kitty backpack, "Or this one ? " This time she showed a simply pink backpack. 

I looked at the both, "Uh..." I pointed the Hello Kitty, "It's cute." 

"Yay ! Thank ya." She ran towards her sisters who were choosing their pencil case and all they wanted to have in it.

I smiled, "You're welcome."

Aug came towards me, "Are ya okay ? Looks like ya are..somewhere else." He asked concerned.

I sighed, "My mind has been busy lately, that's all."

He raised his eyebrow,  "Busy, huh ? Do ya want to talk 'bout it, maybe it can help." 

I looked at him playing with my fingers nervously, "Uh...I was thinking about...everything, to be honest. My life keeps changing all the time, I don't know...what to think anymore. I'm...lost as you can see." 

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