river phoenix ; imagines

emergency contact : 2

"Y/n, go on a small walk. you've been cooped up in her for too long. you need some fresh air dear" river's mom said as you tiredly drew patterns on his hand.

"heart, i'm okay i promise. i'll do that when he wakes up" you said, not wanting to leave his side.

"y/n, please. you need to clear you head" she said, rubbing your back.

"i'll be here with him, you can just go for a couple minutes. he's gonna be okay" she continued to say.

"okay" you said as you stood up, walking towards the door, taking a glance glance at the two before making your way down the hall.

you walked aimlessly through some hallways, giving small smiles to staff or patients as you passed by. you then found a door that lead to the small garden they had, which you opened & were met with a cold breeze. you walked around, admiring the plants before sitting down on a chair.

closing your eyes, you took a few deep breaths as you tried to relax, but you couldn't. the word the person said on the phone "overdose" just kept repeating in your head. he tried to die, he wanted to die... & that's what hurt you most about all this. your mind started to drift through memories of the past few months, looking back on him.

messy hair, bloodshot eyes, the smell of alcohol & weed on him, the paleness of his skin... you should've known better. it was like the sounds of his crying was the only sound ringing through your head. you stood up & decided to head back inside to his room. you opened the door & saw no one in the room but him.

you sat back down in your chair & held his held again, running your fingers through his hair gently as you waited. sleep eventually took a toll on you & you drifted until you heard a soft voice calling your name.

"y/n?" a weak voice asked you.

"your awake" you said stunned, a sad smile growing on your face as you looked at him.

"your okay, your okay. thank god" you said, wrapping your arms around his body loosely as you held him close, tears falling down your cheeks.

"i'm sorry..." he said, burying his head into your shoulder.

"i thought you were gone" you said as your voice cracked, thinking about if river didn't make it.

"i wasn't ready to film & i... i should've known better... y/n" he said quietly, tears falling onto your sweater.

"it's my fault, i should've made you stay. i could've lost you river, for forever..."

"i just... can you stay here please" he said in a whisper, his voice weak.

"i didn't plan on leaving" you said, slipping beside him on the bed.

you laid on your back as his head rested on your chest, a small blanket covering the both of you. you ran your fingers through his hair as he silent cried, making you try to hold in your sobs.

"i love you, i'm sorry" he said, moving closer to you.

"i'm sorry too. i love you, so so much" you replied, holding onto him.

this is such a bad ending, i may edit it later but you guys wanted the second part to it