river phoenix ; imagines

keeping it a secret

Keeping things away from the public eye when your in a relationship is hard. especially if your in a relationship with someone who is constantly in magazines, movies & interviews. you knew what you signed up for when you started dating river, but it was becoming like a chore now.

you always had to make sure you wore a "disguise" when you would go to his apartment or his parents house, you would only go out in public with a group of friends so it didn't seem suspicious, you weren't allowed to go to any of premieres or interviews & you had to make sure you didn't do any "couple" things out in the open.

at first it was fun, hiding everything & foiling the media constantly, but when rumours of river dating a co-star started to become popular, it discouraged you to see him sometimes. currently you & river were out with a group of friends, eating out at a diner downtown & you guys were having fun.

you were laughing at one of your friends's jokes when you glanced at river to see one of the waiters flirting with him, her hand on his arm as they both giggled at each-other. your blood started to boil but you couldn't do anything about it because the secret would be out, so you tried to ignore them.

eventually you found out the waiters name was sarah & she became "apart of the group" for the night & it was getting on your nerves. river took note of your subtle glares or eye rolls whenever she talked, he knew you were getting annoyed. you tried to contain your jealously but when these words left her mouth, you fumed.

"so river, can i get your number & call you sometime?" she asked, batting her eyelashes as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"uh you know what? i have work in the morning so i should probably start heading home" you said, putting some money on the table to cover your order.

"you can stay a little longer-" river tried to say.

"i can't. it sucks but i have to get home. i had fun though, bye guys" you said, waving quickly & leaving the diner, walking quickly to your car across the street.

once you got in, you leaned your head on the steering wheel & mentally screamed. you were angry & annoyed & you felt so jealous of river sitting next to her, her touching his arm & almost cuddling into his side. it made you wanna stand up & just kiss him in front of everyone so they would know that you too were together but you couldn't. that was the sad part.

you decided you weren't in the best headspace to drive so you sat across the street from the diner in your car, listening to the radio & rapping your fingers on the steering wheel for a while until you felt a bit more calm. but suddenly a knock on your window caused you to slightly flinch, seeing river in the other side.

he pointed to the lock on the car door as a signal for you to unlock it, which you did & he sat beside you, closing the door.

"you alright? you seemed a little-"

"a little what? angry? jealous? annoyed? upset?" you asked, turning the radio down a bit.

"yeah" he let out, looking at you.

"i don't think i can keep this up much longer" you said, looking at his reaction.

"what do you mean?" he asked, confusion written on his face.

"i can't keep doing this" you said, gesturing to the two of you.

"i don't wanna keep hiding us anymore. i want to be able to show how much i care about you without having to worry about the media or our friends or fans. i want you. i-i know that you probably don't want that, but i do. i don't want to keep hiding anymore riv" you said to him with a sad look on your face.

"i don't like hiding us either but... the media- their ruthless. i don't want you to get hurt by the stuff they'll come up with if we go public-" he tried to reason.

"no river, they already are hurting me with their rumours of you sneaking around with your co-stars & having a relationship with them. so it doesn't matter if we're public or not to them!" you huffed out.

"y/n, you know i like you. i like you a lot. i wouldn't be doing this for the past 6 months if i didn't" he reached out to hold your hand, which you didn't mind in the moment.

"then why can't i kiss you in public or hold your hand or go on dates with you in our favourite restaurants?" you mumbled.

"why can't i lean my head on your shoulder when we go to the movies or be there to support you at fundraising events or movie premiers or on set or your interviews? why can't i come to your apartment without hiding? why?" you desperately asked.

"i just want to show you off without worrying about anyone else, is that such a bad thing?" you asked him, a few tears fell from your cheeks in the process.

"hey, that's not a bad thing. i promise you it's not. i just don't want you to get hurt-"

"well already went over that river! i don't give a damn about what everyone else will say! all i want is you!" you said harshly, leaning your head back on the headrest of the seat.

"i want you too" river said, cupping your face with hands & bringing your forehead to his.

without saying anything else, he closed the gap between you both & gave you a sweet kiss that reassured you a bit.

"we can stop hiding now" he said, making you smile at him as you kissed him again.

thank you tom_hollands_quakson for the prompt list!!!! ❤️