Emo Trinity x Reader (Book 2)

Nicole Row x Reader - Won't Let You Leave

Requested
Summary: Nicole is back from tour, and wants to meet up with the reader, who is doubting they are worth of her affection.
Warnings: anxiety
Word count: 1 426

The TV was still babbling incoherently in the background, but the displayed chase of the hawk after the mouse was not what had you tensed up. Next to you, Nicole had fallen asleep, her head lightly resting on your shoulder. She had just come back from tour, the first big tour with Panic! at the Disco, and the first thing she had done was to call you to ask if you wanted to meet up.

You had known Nicole for many years, back from college, but only a couple of weeks before she had to head out for tour, you had started getting closer. There was no doubt: you had always admired the blonde girl with the beautiful smile, and the wonderful eyes, you had looked up to her skill and were always taken aback by her kindness. And then, at this one party, you had talked for hours and hours, before she had kissed you outside on the balcony for the first time. Of course you knew she would go on tour, and both of you had agreed not to make any promises on anything, since neither of you were really sure where you wanted this thing between the two of you to go.

Truth be told, you had dreamt about being with her for so long now, that having it within the reach of possibilities was seriously scary now. Not to mention the never calming thoughts that were terrorizing you with the question why she even wanted you.

These thoughts had first picked up after your first real date, a couple of days after the party, and they popped into your mind every time you thought of her. Every time she had called or texted you, even if it was just a picture of a dog she had sent you, every time you asked yourself what the hell she even saw in you. You had been surprised, to say the least, when she had called you a couple of hours ago, saying she had just arrived back in L.A., asking if you wanted to meet up.

It had already been late afternoon, and you did not feel a lot like going out. When you had told her that, she had laughed and agreed that she was pretty tired herself, but she really wanted to see you. That confession had made you lose your voice for several seconds, but she had not noticed, instead asked if you would like to come over, and order pizza. You had heard yourself agree to the offer enthusiastically, all while your mind was screaming at you that she probably did not even like you the way you liked her, that she just wanted company, and you were the last available option.

Not listening to your thoughts, you had taken a quick shower, and thrown on something fresh and presentable before heading to Nicole's place not too far away. Together you had ordered pizza, and she had told you about tour, and you had told her about your work as a manager of a venue in the city centre. She had laughed and listened carefully to every word, her eyes tired, but never leaving your face. After dinner you had cleaned up, and she had suggested watching one of the David Attenborough documentations that was scheduled to come on TV.

So that was how you ended up here. The documentation was long over, Nicole had fallen asleep halfway through, jet lagged and exhausted as she was.

Carefully manoeuvring yourself out from under her, and placing her head gently on the back rest of the sofa, you got up, and turned the volume of the TV down. You still felt torn, your thoughts telling you something so different from your heart. The entire evening your head had screamed about how you meant nothing to her; that someone as wonderful and perfect and pretty and talented and funny and intelligent as her would never see you as anything more than a toy to pass the time with.

But your heart reminded you of the pull you felt towards her, that on the phone she had said that she really wanted to see you, that she had missed you. Your heart reminded you of the way she had looked at you all the time, how soft her eyes had been, how she had reached her hand over the table multiple times to brush her fingers against yours, how she had immediately cuddled into you as soon as she had sat down on the sofa.

But you got up anyway. You needed to leave. In the morning she would wake up, and regret having asked you over, regret having wasted those ten dollars because she had insisted on paying for your pizza.

Quietly you made your way through the living room, and into the hallway. Your shoes stood next to the door, so you put them on quickly, and your coat was hung up on one of the coat hangers by the coat rag. But no matter how carefully you had tried to take off your coat, the wooden hanger slipped away, and knocked into the other hangers, causing what, in the silence, sounded like a deafening thunderstorm of bumping coat hangers.

You froze for a couple of seconds, hoping, praying that you had not woken Nicole up, but when everything stayed silent, you allowed yourself to relief the breath you had been holding. With fast steps you moved back over to the front door, but just when you reached for the handle, a voice behind you spoke up.

"Where you going?"

You almost jumped out of your skin, not having noticed Nicole who had walked into the corridor. Her voice was raspy, her hair slightly dishevelled, and she rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes.

"I-"

"Come back to the sofa?"

Confused you stared at her.

"I thought..."

At your hesitation she finally seemed to wake up a little more.

"Oh damn, do you need to get up early tomorrow," she worried, straightening her posture a little.

"No, I- I don't need to get up, I just thought you wanted to... have some privacy," you tried to explain without admitting to all the self-doubt that had been torturing you.

"What I really want is to cuddle with you, though," she confessed, looking over to you shyly, "if you like, that is."

"Oh, ahm..." dumbfounded you stared at her.

Just looking at her made thinking hard. This time there were none of the anxious thoughts, this time it was just your inability to form a coherent sentence around her, because all you were focused on was the way she looked so lovely while blushing.

"It's okay, if you don't want to, I just thought... maybe you would."

She looked sad as she said that. Seeing her sad broke your heart. The negative thoughts in your head still had not found an argument about why she would stop you from leaving, or why she would look sad at the thought that you did not want to stay.

"I do, want to stay, I mean," you stuttered out, and at the hopeful smile Nicole was giving you, you managed to find the courage to add "and I'm totally up for cuddles."

"Then take your shoes of again," she chuckled, and walked over to where you were standing.

Quickly you kicked off your shoes, and Nicole helped you out of your coat, throwing it carelessly over her suitcase that stood, still unpacked, in the hallway. Taking your hand, she pulled you back into the living room, and over to the sofa, where she sat down, pulling you down with her.

"You really thought I'd want you to leave," she asked quietly, her fingers still intertwined with yours.

Keeping her eyes on yours, she lifted your hand to her lips and pressed a warm kiss to the back of your hand.

"I-"

"Bold of you to assume I'd just let you leave like that," she smiled.

You smiled back, and as if to accentuate her words, she wrapped her arms around you, and cuddled into your side.

This time the negative voice in your head did not start to scream, but your heart beat in your chest hard and strong, as if it was celebrating. You could not help the smile that tucked at your lips, and you wrapped your arms around Nicole, burying your face in her neck, not caring about the long hair that tickled your nose.

The negative voice never showed up again.