Can't We Just Leave The Monster Alive?🗡️ - YeonKai

Chapter 4: Tape 1

Third Person Pov

"Calm down Beomgyu". Camren softly said."How can I calm down Camren!? Huh!?". Beomgyu yelled furiously. "He's not getting better! The medicine is not working! Nothing is! I've tried calling over friends and family but he doesn't react! He gets more panic attacks every week Camren! He eats less, he sleeps more, he cries like every hour of the day!". He explained. "It's okay Gyu, we have time to make the recovery". "No we don't! We have award shows next month, our Japan debut, even our comeback!". Camren sighed, crossing her arms. "Look at what's happening to us! To Huening Kai! What if his condition gets worse huh!? What he tries to hurt himself!?". Beomgyu worried pacing back and forth ignoring Camren's words. He started to cry. "I-I don't want him to e-end up l-like Yeonjun H-hyung". He murmured softly. "Shhhh, it's okay Beomgyu. I know Huening Kai needs something in his life. I'm gonna give him something today for all of you okay? It might give you some comfort okay?". Camren asked. Beomgyu nodded wiping his tears away. "let's go see Kai now". 

Time Skippppp

Huening Kai's Pov

"Alright, thanks Huening Kai for today's session. We'll meet again next week. Don't forget to take your medicine and also, here's this". Camren explained, smiled, and then handed me a box. "What's this?". I asked. "Just play the first tape when you get home. You'll be getting those often". She said. I nodded and bowed saying goodbye. I could finally leave the room and not worry about anything else does a bit. "Hey sweetie, how was it?". I was met with Soobin who came up to me and held me by the waist protectively. "Good I guess…..I got this but…..I don't feel that different from my other sessions". I explained. "Well, when we get home, we can just relax. You don't need to do anything today". Soobin assured me. I smiled and nodded. "Your parents were calling by the way. They've been so worried since that day happened". "I know…...They told me they've really wanted to come visit me and make sure I'm okay but they're busy with eomeoni while she recovers and Jin Hyung can't do it since they're having a comeback". I replied. Soobin sighed. It sounded as if he had so many things on his mind but he could hide it well enough as long as he didn't think about it too hard. 

Time Skippppp

I sat on the couch with the other members waiting for the tape to play. I had absolutely no idea what was on it, so I was kinda nervous. Once I saw the beginning, I froze. You could see Yeonjun in the frame and he was facing the camera. He sighed and then began to speak. "Hi guys………..Uh….I've never done this before but…..they or my doctor's or whatever told me that I could do this weekly if I wanted to…... anyway…..It's been a good 2 weeks actually. It's not as bad as I thought when I got here…..um…. everyone treats me well and somewhat normally which is good. I have a lot of therapy which kinda sucks but other than those times, we get to do our own hobbies, hang out with friends and just relax……….To be honest, I haven't been in a camera so long and I'm kinda feeling awkward but it's not like the world is seeing this………...I just wanted to try and explain myself for…..for how I've treated you all and how I felt and maybe how I'll fix it……..I guess we can start from the beginning". I leaned forward staring at the tv. Even the other members were interested. "I know that I had no right to treat you guys as badly as I did…... especially you Huening Kai…….I should've approached my problems different and maybe actually let you all help in the beginning but I honestly think that I still would've ended up here in this room……….it all started when I heard Huening Kai and Kyung Min arguing. When she was explaining to him what was going on and what we all needed…...I realized that she was right……..I didn't want to admit it but I needed help and you all needed a break from me…….I remember thinking that I had to find a way to make you all leave me…...to make you stop trying so hard and waiting so long for someone who didn't even know who they were anymore…...it was pointless…..pointless to even try it anyway because none of you would leave…..I want to laugh but I wanna cry too….I didn't think you all would stay. I did almost my worst and yet even the person I was putting in the most pain stayed by my side and…...and loved me as before". Yeonjun looked at the camera and smiled sadly. He then moved the camera and continued to speak. "Every time that I hurt any of you…….it was like a part of me broke…..each day I felt more and more ghost like and angry…...not at any of you but myself. I was mad at myself for having to choose this option of hurting you all right now so you wouldn't hurt in the future……... thinking about it now, I guess it didn't make sense…..way to go Yeonjun! You successfully broke your own family and made them feel less or seem less than they were when…..it's not what was intended…..I didn't mean to make you feel worse about yourself. You guys were supposed to feel worse about me. To hate me. Leave me. Yet…...here we are!". Yeonjun chuckled softly and then sighed distracted. "I lost my train of thought…..". He whispered. "Oh! Okay uh………...I used to have these dreams…..they were memories from the hospital. Mostly from the past month but sometimes, every now and then. It was from before. When you guys found me and Huening Kai……...in those memories, I always thought the same thing……..that I needed to live for you all. I needed to try to survive so I wouldn't leave you unexpectedly because we're family…….and now…….thinking about the dreams I had about the past month in the hospital, I remember thinking then, I want to die. I need to disappear so that you all can live better…….how ironic right?". I felt tears form in my eyes and I immediately wiped them trying to pay attention. But then, Yeonjun started crying. "I just…...I-I treated you all so b-badly! I h-hurt you so m-much! I didn't want to do it! And now I have my consequence! Every week Camren tells me about how you guys are doing and I can't help but break down into tears…...I can't help but wonder if you all are taking care of each other as promised…….how do I know if you're all hurting and falling apart?....... I-I'm so sorry g-guys! I'm so sorry for yelling a-and physically hurting you all! I'm so s-sorry for being so m-mean!". I tried to hold back my tears as I watched Yeonjun fall onto the floor and sob. I could hear Taehyun sobbing into Beomgyu's chest and it only made me want to cry even more. "I'm so sorry Kai!....... I'm sorry about what I said that day when you walked out on me…….I wanted to run after you, kiss and hug you so so bad!.........I regret everything I've ever said to you that moment…...I regretted the day that I screamed and threw things at you!...........I didn't mean it…..I swear…". Yeonjun hugged his knees and sobbed into his arms uncontrollably. I couldn't hold it back anymore and let out my tears. It hurt so much to see him cry. It hurt so much to know that he didn't even have the chance to say sorry in person because I made him leave. I forced him. "Yeonjun Hyung!". I cried out. Soobin brought me into a hug rubbing my shoulders affectionately. "Shhh aga, it's okay. It's just a tape". He cooed. "Yeonjun Hyung! Yeonjun Hyung!". I could see Taehyun yelling out and sobbing uncontrollably as well into Beomgyu's chest, who did his best to calm him down. I closed my eyes trying to block everything out. I only wanted to care about the tape and Yeonjun. 

Then, another guy came into the frame comforting Yeonjun. He looked at him and then the camera and sighed. "Hey, whoever is watching this…..I'm Jaehyun. Yeonjun's friend. I'm gonna take care of him. I promise he'll update you and get better. Don't worry and goodbye". And then the tape turned off. I breathed heavily no longer crying as well as Taehyun. "Do you think he's okay?". I asked Soobin. He nodded and then caressed my head before kissing it. "Let's just watch the next one and see what happens. I'm sure that he's gotten better".