Good omens one shots

Innefable bureaucracy

You guys asked for it! Ineffable bureaucracy! especially the_yeeyee_man I hope you enjoy!
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"Aziraphale!" Commanded Gabriel as he miracles him self into the cozy tartan-covered bookshop, now emptied of customer like a ghost shop. "I have been sent info that the demon 'Crowley'," he scoffed as if the word left a bad taste in his mouth, "had been spotted multiple times in your shop, and according to sources, he's here right now." He said. He sniffed the air an scrunched up his face, "I can smell it," he scowled in a low, gruff voice, "I smell evil.". Suddenly, another pop was heard as a foul stench filled the dust bookshop air. The sound of flies buzzing rung in their ears as a familiar being stepped out into the ribbon of light. "Demon Crowley." She shouted boldly. Gabriel stood there gob-smacked. "Um- uh, hey beelz." He said trying to sound cool. "Uh, yeah hey?" She said, confused as to why her mortal enemy was saying "hey" to her- wait beelz! She thought. No one had ever called her that. Although, she kind of liked it- she felt meaning- she had always spoke to the other demons, but no one had ever been friends with her. She was just their boss- nothing more, nothing less.

As she heard the demon slowly trudge down the stairs, as he knew he had been found out. His head hung low as he was finally down on the first floor with the angel, Gabriel, and lord beelzebub. She flashed a rare smile at the archangel Gabriel as she walked closer to the demon. Aziraphale stared, puzzled at Gabriel, as he longingly gazed at the lord of hell. He was in some sort of haze. Hold on. Said Aziraphale mentally, as his face lit up. Gabriel was in love with beelzebub. He smiled a huge grin and allowed it to take over his face. Gabriel snapped out of it as he noticed the angel smiling at him, eyebrows raised. "What are you smiling at." He said flustered. "Oh, nothing- but maybe, just maybe, I could tell He bean that you have a 'thing' for beelzebub." He winked, smiling innocently- letting off an angelic light. "No, no, please don't- i- I'll loose my job please I-" he begged until Aziraphale interrupted him. "Unless, you leave me and Crowley alone." He said seriously. "Yes, yes of course anything you want." He pleaded. "Wait," he paused, "please- could you do one thing for me?" He asked quietly, clearly embarrassed. "You want me to do something for you now!?" Aziraphale asked. "Please," Gabriel begged. "Ok what is it." He asked.

Meanwhile, beelzebub was screaming at Crowley as he was practically cowering almost on the floor. After she had finished shouting, she whipped her robe around as she twirled the opposite direction. "Uh beelzebub?" Gabriel asked just before she raised her hand to miracle her way back down to the fiery pits of hell. "Wot." She said abruptly. "Uh well, I was wondering if you-Uh, wanted to go on a date with me?" He asked shyly, stuttering. She stopped in her tracks. Her heart did somersaults, but after all of the emotion dampening years in hell- she had learnt to hide her emotions. "Yeah, sure- whatever." She said as she miracles her way back. As soon as she landed in her office, she quietly jumped up and punched the air, squeezing in excitement, she quickly stopped and let out a low cough as she straightened her suit and walked away with her hands behind her back.

"What. Was. That?!" Crowley asked from the floor shocked. "Gabriel likes beelzebub." Teased Aziraphale. "Well that's a bit hypocritical then isn't it?" Crowley said annoyed. "Look," Gabriel sighed "I'm just doing my orders- hey, I have bosses too. I didn't understand how an angel could possibly love a demon- until I met beelzebub," he said dreamily, "she is the most wonderful being I have ever seen." He stated. "Beelzebub- is? Ok out of everyone?" Asked Crowley rudely. "Crowley." Hissed Aziraphale. Crowley shut his mouth as he didn't want to anger Aziraphale. "Oh god, oh mother- I don't have a clue what to do?!" Cried Gabriel suddenly. Aziraphale comforted him as Crowley stood shocked. "Im sorry," he said blankly "but do you remember this is the man that tried to kill you with hell fire!?" He cried, now angrily. "Yes I know I may have gone a tad far," Crowley scoffed at this "but I was just doing what I thought was right, I have just been following some mysterious orders my whole life! No one even knows what god actually wants!" He cried insanely.

"Ok, so." Said Aziraphale calmly as Crowley was sat in the armchair opposite Gabriel. "We've booked you and beelzebub a table at the ritz, and one for us too so we can watch and help out." He said. "Also because it's date night." Crowley said offhandedly. "Yeah." Said Aziraphale. "So, where going to have to tell you how to use a human restaurant." Said Aziraphale nervously "ok, you walk in and then..." Aziraphale continued to explain until Gabriel was ready, also giving him tips on how to treat beelzbub. Soon, he was ready to go and he put on his finest coat. "Ok, remember what I said?" Asked Aziraphale, nervous. Gabriel nodded doubtfully. "Remember," Crowley started "if you get lost, follow our lead." He said. "Thanks, Crowley." Said Gabriel earnestly. "Your not too bad for a demon." He chuckled. "Your not so bad yourself." He said as they exited the shop A.Z Fell and Co.

Gabriel twiddled his scarf as he sat at the table waiting, frightened and nervous. Crowley and Aziraphale sat at a nearby table, Crowley, still slightly frightened of beelzebub, disgusted as him female self, as he did sometimes anyway. Aziraphale sat facing away so that they where not visible. Finally, the lord of hell arrived- wearing- human clothes? She had a pair of black jeans on and a large hoodie (black of course). Gabriel's eyes lit up. Shes so beautiful! He mouthed to The other celestials as they giggled. He pulled up a chair for her and gestured for her to sit. They talked and, with the help of Aziraphale and Crowley, ordered oysters to share and Champaign. "You look beautiful." Gabriel Said, dreamily gazing at her." She blushed a bright red "shut up." She said shyly. Gabriel looked down sadly, "I'm sorry," she said quietly, this shocked Aziraphale, Crowley, and Gabriel. "I'm not use to people being nice to me." She said smiling a sad smile. They laughed and talked for the rest of the night until it went silent. They locked eyes and gazed at each other. She really found Gabriel's violet eyes rather nice. They leaned slowly over the table and shared a passionate kiss. The demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale smiled, "cheers," Said Aziraphale offering a glass. Crowley hit it lightly with the angels, "cheers." He said happily, as they drunk.

Gabriel and beelzebub walked out of the restaurant, hand in hand. Gabriel turned his head and mouthed thank you as he walked out of the Ritz with his new demon girlfriend.