falling [asanoya/ennotana] 🌦

a sobering change

"my last made me feel like i would never try again but when i saw you i felt something i never felt. come closer, i'll give you all my love if you treat me right, baby, i'll give you everything."

.nishinoya.

asahi and i walked back to my house after school and practice, our shoes crunching in the snow.

luckily, i wasn't very cold, i had bundled up in a coat, hat, gloves, a scarf, and asahi's sweater. needless to say, i was very cozy.

it was nearly march, so the snow should be melting soon. i'm actually surprised it's lasted this long.

but march also means that the third years will be graduating soon... and i'm not sure if i'm ready to let go yet.

i mean, asahi mentioned a while ago that he's not going to university, but i'll still hate not being able to see him every day at school and practice.

when we reached my house, i stopped at the gate and turned toward him.

"goodnight, asahi. i love you."

i got on tiptoes and kissed his cheek. i was a little concerned when he didn't speak for a while, and just looked at the ground.

"asahi?"

"nishinoya..."

oh god, not only did he use my last name, but my full last name.

"is something wrong?" i asked.

"i'm so sorry," he said, "but this," he gestured between us. "it's not working."

i felt my breath catch in my throat and i started panicking.

"what do you mean?"

"i think... i think we should break up."

"did i do something wrong?"

i saw him wince, but i was a little more focused on trying to keep my breathing normal.

"no, you didn't do anything wrong... it's just not working. i'm sorry."

he turned to walk away before glancing over his shoulder one last time. "goodnight. i hope we can still be friends."

then he walked away and didn't turn back again.

i tried to control my breaths, and hold back the tears, but it didn't work.

i numbly plopped down onto the cold sidewalk, staring blankly at the ground ahead of me, not comprehending anything.

i felt the tears start to slide down my cheeks, the contrast in temperature making them noticeable. i watched, semi-interested as the tears fell on the ground and froze there.

i realized that i probably shouldn't stay out here, because if i was gonna have a breakdown over this, it would take a while and i didn't want to freeze to death.

i slowly picked myself up off the ground, which felt like a herculean task at that moment.

i wiped my face as best i could while wearing gloves, and made my way slowly inside to my room after shedding my winter gear.

as i sat in my bed, i realized i was still wearing asahi's sweater, which brought about a new round of tears.

i really didn't want to go through this alone right now, so even though i didn't want to inconvenience him, i called the one person i could trust during a breakdown.

"hey, noya, what's up?"

i took a few stuttering breaths trying to regain my composure enough to speak clear sentences.