falling [asanoya/ennotana] 🌦

tanaka might not be as straight as he thought he was

a/n: in the beginning i said i would update 3 times a week... but i realized i have so many chapters already written it would take about two months to publish JUST what i have now, so i'll try to update more often.

.tanaka.

"ryū? you good?"

i didn't reply. i was too busy reevaluating every single interaction with ennoshita, trying to figure out how i felt about him, and maybe how he felt about me.

i heard saeko mumbling something to noya, then she left, sliding the door shut behind her.

not long after, i felt the bed dip under noya's weight, and he had curled up next to me, his head on my chest.

"sorry if i made you uncomfortable," he said in a quiet voice.

i sighed and pet his hair a little.

"it's alright. i've just never really thought about it before and now that i am... it's making me feel kind of confused."

i felt his head moving around and assumed that he was nodding.

"i get it. it is really confusing to figure these things out, you know it took me over a year to figure out my sexuality and how i felt about asahi before we got together."

"really?"

"yeah, it was around the beginning of first year when i first started to get confused about everything, and i wasn't actively thinking about it the entire time. in fact, a lot of the time i kind of shoved it off to a corner of my brain because i didn't want to think about it. but eventually, second year rolled around and i thought about it more and more and finally figured it out."

"yeah?"

"yeah. one of my main mistakes, i think, was that i didn't talk to anyone about it. i kept it all bottled up inside and was confused and scared and sad, but i hid it as best as i could. i still should've told someone though. i could've talked about it with you, or even discussed it with asahi. i'm telling you so you don't make the same mistake. if you want to talk about this, i'm all ears, but you don't have to if you don't want to."

i curled my arms around him more.

"thanks, noya. i love you."

"i love you too."

for several long minutes, we just laid there in silence, holding each other, then noya tentatively spoke up.

"ryū?"

"hmm?"

"have you ever... wait, it's a stupid question, never mind."

"noya, listen. we're us. there's no stupid questions here."

he chuckled slightly.

"you're right. i have a feeling i already know the answer, but... have you ever kissed a boy? or anyone for that matter?"

my cheeks heated up.

"of course i've never kissed a boy. and, uh... i've never kissed anyone else either," i begrudgingly admitted.

he went quiet again, and after a few moments, i looked down at him, to see him gazing expectantly at me.

"are you suggesting what i think you're suggesting?" i asked.

he suddenly sat up, so i did too.

"that depends on what you think i'm suggesting," he said, and shifted closer to me, the movement so tiny as to be almost imperceptible.

"bro, are we about to kiss right now?"

he snorted.

"well, that's what i'm suggesting, if you're cool with it. cuz i'm totally down for kissing you, bro, no homo."