falling [asanoya/ennotana] 🌦

Nothing is Wrong, and i'm Fine. i Promise.

.nishinoya.

the next day i skipped morning practice, but walked into afternoon practice with my usual energy. i was determined to act as if nothing was wrong today, even if it killed me.

however, i would probably try to avoid asahi unless absolutely necessary, because i didn't feel like talking to him right now. if i did, that would make my task a lot more difficult.

"good afternoon, everyone and happy friday!" i shouted when i walked into the gym, plastering a big grin on my face.

i looked around to see everyone looking slightly... nervous, almost? that's weird.

i brushed it off, and made my way over to where ryū and the other second years were sitting, and sat next to them.

"what's up, guys?"

"um... are you okay?" ennoshita asked.

my heart leapt into my throat when he said that. just how public was ryū and asahi's argument yesterday? did the whole team know?

i forced a laugh.

"of course i'm okay! i just felt a little sniffly yesterday, so i figured i'd rest up so i wouldn't get the rest of you sick."

ennoshita, kinoshita, and narita exchanged a furtive glance, and ryū averted his gaze.

i squinted. what was going on here?

i decided to ignore it and stretch instead.

i had leaned over to touch my toes when i heard someone clearing their throat behind me.

i shot up and turned to see asahi.

"noya, can i-?"

"oh, what do you know! it looks like my water bottle is empty, silly me, i better go fill it now, sorry, bye!" i rushed out.

i grabbed my water bottle and ran outside to the tap.

honestly, it wasn't empty, it was still halfway full. i had drunk some of it during the day, but i didn't really need to refill it yet, i just didn't feel like talking to asahi yet.

i refilled it anyway, and took some deep breaths, looking around campus, and up at the sky, trying to calm myself by finding shapes in the clouds.

when i was younger, me and my grandpa always did that together, so it brings me a sense of peace and nostalgia.

the sky was pretty gray, since it was winter, but when i looked far to the east, i could see a patch of blue sky. there were a few wispy clouds, and i pretended they were like cotton candy, or maybe some wool about to be dipped in blue dye.

finally, when i had collected myself, i headed back inside.

i went to go put my water bottle back with my stuff, and was stopped by daichi and suga.

daichi put his hand on my shoulder and said, "i'm glad you're back today, but seriously, if you don't want to see him right now, that's totally understandable, and i can excuse you from practice."

"what do you mean?"

suga spoke up.

"well, with everything that happened with asahi, we just thought that maybe you-"

i laughed loudly. a little too loudly. it attracted some looks from the rest of the team.

"i don't know what you guys are talking about! i'm fine."

they exchanged a concerned glance.

"if you're sure..." daichi muttered.

i shook my head and batted his hand away.

i put my water bottle back with my stuff, and headed over to where the first years were. i really liked the first years, they were fun to hang out with. fun to practice with too.

"hey, yamaguchi, want me to help you practice your jump float serves?"

he looked a little nervous as he fidgeted with his hands and replied, "i mean... if you're feeling up to it... i don't know..."

i turned around and stormed back a few paces and yelled.

"jesus christ! i swear, if one more person tries to treat me like i'm some sort of fragile, glass doll i'm gonna lose it! five laps, go!"

i was more speaking to myself in that last statement, as i began running around the gym, feeling everyone's eyes on me.

i finished my laps breathing heavily, but i felt better than before, full of adrenaline, and heart rate up for a reason other than anxiety for once this practice.

"see? all good! now let's practice those receives!"

i clapped yamaguchi on the shoulder and led him over to one side of the court and crossed the net to the other side, getting in receiving position.

i ended up practicing receives with most of the team, but when asahi was about to serve, i sent ryū a frantic look, and he quickly served to the opposite end of the court, and as usual, i yelled, "rolllllinnngggg thUNDERR!" and dove to receive it.

luckily, ryū laughed at me like he usually did, and instead of annoying me, it made me feel better, like at least one person was treating me like usual. 

the rest of practice went pretty smoothly, and by the end i definitely felt a lot better after being able to move around as usual instead of sitting inside moping all day.

at the end of practice, i was heading out, joking around with ryū, when i heard, "wait!"

i stopped and slowly turned around.

who did i see? asahi. of course.

i didn't say anything, so he spoke again.

"nishinoya, may i please speak to you?" he glanced at tanaka. "alone?"

i made a face as i thought about it. finally i responded.

"i'm sorry, but i'm going to be honest with you. i don't really feel like talking to you right now, but maybe try again monday and i'll see if i'm feeling any better then. bye."

i turned around without waiting for a response, and ryū put his arms around my shoulders as we walked away, just like he had done when i was returning the box of asahi's stuff.

"that was good, i'm proud of you," he said sincerely, grinning at me.

i smiled back hesitantly.

"thanks. i know i need to move on, and i'm not trying to wallow in sadness, but i think talking to him right away isn't the best choice. i probably should talk to him sooner rather than later, especially since graduation is so close and i don't wanna spoil this last bit of time with the third years... which is why i said i'd try talking on monday."

"that's a great idea!" he exclaimed, ruffling my hair.

"hey, not cool dude!"

he laughed loudly.

"sorry, but you know you love me."

i laughed too.

"that's true. you're my best friend, and i don't know where i'd be without you."