Vague Existence

Chapter 27: Gulf

So there's a thick imaginary line between reality and illusion. Reality is me wanting to win the IFL then get out of this town. Illusion is, I don't have family issues and will willingly stay in town together with Mew because we have a smooth sailing relationship with no one else in the picture. See the difference Gulf? Very far, right? You shouldn't be able to cross that big a gap. So instead of finding excuses to retract your decision, better to move on.

Moving On 101, first, pull the blinds down. This one's checked. Second, be civil during practice, haven't checked since he wasn't present the rest of the week. Third, find other things to occupy your free time. Checked, I have been playing PS4 with Jag.

The thing is, even with all the distractions, I find myself thinking about him when I am about to close my eyes at night. Like tonight, Friday. I have  been wondering where he could be the whole week. It's hard to sleep with all these thoughts.  I have been turning and thrashing myself so I can sleep. Exercise, hmmm. Planks, that'll help me get tired.  I stood up, went by the window since that's the only place in my room with a wider space, and did a plank standing.  While flattening my hands to the wall, a light crossed the blinds. It's coming from above. I peeped. The girl I saw before was adjusting the tint of Mew's window. So that's why I haven't seen him for a week. He's with his girlfriend.

The girlfriend totally took out the tint of the window and I can see the inside. She is wearing a uniform that looks like a flight attendant would wear. She has her hair up and I can see clearly how defined her neck is. Mew has a thing for slender long necks.  I know because he used to bury his face in mine.  She is dancing into some tune, probably listening to some music then sipped from a wine glass she is holding. She sat in the window seat, looking outside. She is very beautiful. After sometime, she turned around, stood up and opened her arms. I see half of her profile hugging Mew. From my vicinity, I can only see the upper portion of their profile. I see her kiss Mew and Mew kissing back.

Mew is kissing back. How do I process that? How do I unsee it? I feel my heart constricting and my breathing becoming shallow. I closed my eyes trying to get a grip and fisted my hand. You have no right Gulf, don't do anything stupid that you will regret later. What did you actually expect from this?

There is a thick line between reality and illusion. Now, it's unlikely I can ever cross even if I want to.

Moving On 101, find a girl to fuck asap before I lose my mind.

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Saturday is laundry day. Because I have a hard time sleeping, I was in the laundry shop as early as 7:00 am. The people, mostly students, are starting to swarm in. It's a busy day today.

While playing with my phone, I smell a whiff of Mew's cologne. By now his cologne is something I am so familiar with, I know for sure it's him. I looked up and saw his girlfriend on the other side of the shop. The girlfriend turned to me just in time to see me lower my head back to my phone.

"Excuse me." Is she talking to me? "Hey."

I looked up, "Yes."

"Sorry to bother you but can you help me with the washing machine please? I'm sorry but this is the first time I'll be using it." I'll kill you Mew.

"Sure." I stood up with the most charming smile on my face and approached her. Two can play this game asshole.

"Thanks. I have already loaded the whites inside. I just need to know how to operate this."

I looked at the rest of the clothes in the laundry basket and fucking shit, they're all Mew's clothes. I want to get out of here before I burn all of them. Schooling my face, I said, "Just press the detergent first, you can check here for measurements, then there's also the pressure needed depending on the type of clothes you're going to wash. Once that's done, you can press start."

"Hmmm, that sounds easy." She was pressing buttons,"I think mild is okay since my fiancé is very particular in keeping his white shirts soft."

FIANCE. I froze. On the spot. I looked at her, really looked at her. She wasn't just some passing thing. She's actually here to stay. I held the basket with all of his clothes and his fucking smell. I grasped it trying to compose myself. Calm yourself Gulf. Do not make a scene.

" Malee." I tensed.

Malee looked pass my shoulder, "Hey babe. I told you to rest. Does your head still hurt? This young man helped me with the laundry."

I turned around. Surprise Mew. I didn't say anything and just looked at him. Yes, Mew. Figure out a way to get out of this situation. Let's see how good you are at fooling people.

He looked at me, then his fiancé. "I don't do my laundry here."

I folded my arms in front of me and lifted my eyebrow. The fucker just ignored me.

"I know babe. I just want to surprise you." He walked pass me and went to his fiancé.

"Go back to my place. I'll do it."

"Are you sure? I thought you're sick?"

"I feel great."

"Okay, I'll go ahead and prepare breakfast then." She kissed him before finally going, then she turned to me. "Thank you for helping."

"No problem." I said gritting my teeth then went back to my laundry. I can't even face Mew. I don't think I can hold my patience if I do.

"She's Malee, my girlfriend."

"Fiance."

"What?"

"Your fiancé. Say it as it is."

"But she's not."

"I don't even see the point of this conversation."

"She's not Gulf. Can you at least look at me please?"

Thank God the laundry is done. I gathered mine and put it in my basket. I was in a hurry to get out of here.

"Gulf," he touched my arm.

"Don't fucking touch me." I pried his hand from my arm.

"Let's talk Gulf." His eyes were pleading.

I laughed sarcastically. "What for Mew?" Then I looked at him."You don't need to explain anything to me. I really don't give a fuck."