Vague Existence

Chapter 35: Gulf

6 pm. He's not yet here. The coffee shop is just a few blocks away, even if he walks, he should be here by now. I'll text him again just to be sure.

Text: Mew, where are you now? I ordered chinese for dinner.

8 pm. He's still not here. He's probably having dinner with his sister.

Text: Mew, have you eaten? Please text back.

10 pm. The fucker still hasn't texted back. Is it so hard to let me know where he is?

Text: Where are you? You're pissing me off. If you're not coming here tonight, the least you can do is let me know.

11 pm.

Text: Where are you? I'm worried, you don't even answer your phone. I've called ten times.

12 mn.

Text: Please come home.

2 am. I heard movement and rustling of sheets then someone hugging me from the back. Thank God Mew. I turned around facing him. He hugged me so tight. I hugged him back tighter. "Are we good? Is everything okay?" We faced each other and just looked at each other's eyes. I smell a whiff of alcohol. He had been drinking. He then kissed me so passionately but still hasn't said anything. After a minute, I pushed back. "Mew, I was worried. You're worrying me right now. What happened?"

"I love you Gulf."

"Now you're really worrying me. Let's go take a shower. Maybe that will help." I dragged him out of bed and we both went to the bathroom. I turned on the shower with him still hugging me. I peeled him off his clothes. We're both getting wet. He can't stop hugging me and kissing my neck, caressing me in all the parts that he can reach. "Mew, please say something."

Nothing. He just looked at me with blank eyes. Then he resumed kissing me. He peeled off my clothes in a hurry. "Mew, careful, you'll ruin my shirt." He was frantic. He's kissing all the skin that gets exposed. He kneeled before me and kissed my exposed stomach. Then he went up to my chest, my nipples and my neck. Once the shirt was taken off, he was already kissing my mouth so hard. There was desperation in his kisses, like this is the last time. Shit, I pushed him away. "What's going on Mew? You're scaring me now."

"Punish me Gulf, but don't leave me."

"Whaaaat? What are you saying? Hey." I held his face on both hands. "Look at me Mew. Tell me what's wrong. Please, you're killing me."

"Just hold me. I need you."

We sat down in the jacuzzi and I hugged him tight. We were embracing. I was stroking his hair calming him down. After a while, he dozed off. I undressed both of us and got a washcloth so I can wipe him. Once done, I gently woke him up and guided him back to bed. He fell asleep immediately, probably very tired.

I looked at him for a long time caressing his face. He looks at peace asleep.

"I love you Mew, I will never leave you." Then I kissed his forehead.

I lied down and positioned myself beside him, put his hand around me so he can spoon me. Then I fell asleep.

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I woke up late the next morning and tried to reach for Mew with eyes still closed. He's not in the bed. I opened my eyes, "Mew?"

No answer. I stood up and checked the bathroom. He's not there either. I scanned my place and saw a note attached to the television screen.

Gulf, I have to go early. I didn't wake you up because we slept late. I'm sorry about last night. I'll explain everything when I get back from Paris. I just need to accompany my sister back there. It's important. Take care. I love you. Mew

I read it twice just to be sure. The fucker really left. He might still be at the airport, I'll call him. I reached for my phone and dialed his number. It's out of reach.

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That afternoon, I went back to the dorm and immediately checked if Mew has a facebook account. He has, great.

Messenger: Hey Mew. Are you in Paris now? Please message me right away once you see my message.

That night, before going to bed, I checked if he read my message. Still unread.

Messenger: Good night Mew. I miss you. Contact me soon. I hope Lisa's okay.
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Monday, the first thing I did was check my phone. My messages still unread and my mood just fell. Did I do anything? He might be busy Gulf, can you not overthink. Right. He's probably still tired from the flight.

I prepared for school. Today is the finals for Philosophy which is a good thing, so I can concentrate on the practice.

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After the exams, I felt positive that I'm going to pass Philo. I know for sure I did. I have to tell Mew.

Messenger: Mew, you haven't seen my messages yet. Do you even have facebook installed in your phone? Please login soon. I miss you. Oh and, I am confident that I passed Philo finals. Thanks to your notes, it really helped. I love you, my Mew.
---- your Gulf

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Practice was exhausting, and I welcomed it. There is something nagging me inside, something trying to creep me and I don't want to think about it. I need to be tired when I get to my place so I can sleep right away. I messaged Mew again, maybe if I message him and his facebook account is linked to his email, it will notify him.

Messenger: Mew, practice was exhausting. But the team is really trying hard. Hoping to hear from you soon.

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Tuesday morning.

Messenger: Mew, how come you haven't read my messages? Either you don't really have facebook on your phone or your account was hacked.

Tuesday night.

Messenger: Mew, I'm thinking I can call you Babe. Then I remember I heard your ex call you that though. Hmmm. Still thinking about what to call you so when we phone sex we can use it. I'm thinking of you naked right now. Sweet dreams my love. Love sounds cheesy. 😂😂😘

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Wednesday morning.

Messenger: Mew, I waited for you to be online til one last night. Good thing that Philo classes has ended. I have extra time at night to be late. Don't you really login to your account anymore? I miss you so fucking much.

Wednesday night.

Messenger: Mew, if you don't message me back, I will sleep with Reena. I'm not even kidding.

Wednesday midnight, my messages still unread. I deleted my last message.