Vague Existence

Chapter 34: Mew

I'm dressing up and I feel Gulf staring at me. "Look if you want to say something, say it now before I go see her." I turned to him.  He was sitting in the bed, his arms crossed in his chest.

"Why didn't you tell her before? You should have told her when we got together."

"We literally just got back together Gulf. I can't tell her before that because I don't even fucking know if we'll actually be together." I looked at him, his brows knitted together again. "Stop sulking."

"How big of a deal is this with your sister? Can this potentially break us up?"

I feel warmth engulfing my heart. He is afraid to lose me. I approached him. "Hey, look at me. This is not a big deal. She'll accept it. Tonight, I'll be back and if we're lucky, I'll bring her here. She's really cool."

"Let's not go that far, just make sure to come back tonight. And Mew, you know I love you right?"

"I never thought you'd say that Gulf. I love you too." I kissed him with all the love I can muster.

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My sister already ordered a frap when I arrived at the coffee shop a few blocks away.

"Hey." I said hugging her. "How's Paris?"

"I missed you bro. Paris is good. I heard from Uncle that you've been very busy here."

"Yeah, I've been looking after the school and also taking some cases for him."

"Finally! Uncle had been trying to convince you for years now."

"I know. It took me sometime to really accept this position."

"Have you made amends with him? Is the school going to be ours soon?"

"Not yet Lisa, I'm still working on it."

"You're still doubtful of him?"

"If he really cares about us, he wouldn't set conditions for us."

"He wants us to be responsible Mew, you can't really blame him" Lisa still doesn't know how ruthless he can be. If only she can remember the most important 15 minutes of her life, we can sort this out.

"Enough about uncle. I've been meaning to tell you something Lisa."

"What is it bro?"

"Ummmm, how's your love life?"

"Huh?" Her face looks comical. She can't believe I asked. I don't fucking say these things.

"Just asking if you've moved on. The last time we talked you were still hung up with Gulf."

"Gulf. You said his name. I didn't even think you'd remember. You called him dipshit before."

"That was one time though." I am fucking dead.

"I am good." She said looking at me with her curious eyes. "So, how's Malee?"

It was my turn to be silent. "Ummm, we broke up."

"What?!" She almost choked on her frap. "Are you serious?! How are we going to get the school?"

I looked around us. I am so paranoid. "Can you tone your voice down?"

"Are you out of your mind? You have been planning this for years? And Malee understands."

"I am sorting things out okay. I've been talking to uncle trying to compromise." I said trying not to panic.

She laughed. " We both know that's not gonna happen. That's the only condition he won't bend."

"I'm figuring things out okay and you're not helping."

"Look, I'm all for your happiness and what not, but I actually thought this was the only one already set in stone."

"I've met someone else." I said unsure how to proceed.

"Okay. So you're going to marry her then?"

Silence..... for a minute or two.

"So you're not going to marry her? How will she help?"

Silence again, I really didn't think this through. I was only thinking that I can't lose him.

"It's Gulf."

"Huh? what's this got to do with him?"

"I met Gulf. I love Gulf, so I broke up with her."

Silence again. This time I am waiting for her to say something. She doesn't. She just paled, her face drained of color. She drank the water in front of her. This is too much of a reaction for the few weeks they've been together. She had relationships more serious than Gulf.

"Why aren't you talking? What is it Lisa? Do you still love him? Is that it?"

"Break it off." She said without looking at me.

"What?"

"Break it off with Gulf."

"Why? Do you love him still? Look Lisa, Gulf and I we've been through a lot."

"Ha! You've been together what? A month? Two months? You've been with Malee for five years. And besides you can't marry him, that's not even possible and if it is, our uncle will kill you."

"I can't. I'm sorry. You just have to move on from him and I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with uncle."

"You mean trying your best to not let uncle know." She stood up, "I need some air."

"We're not done talking. Sit down."

She sat down but she's not looking at me. "Look I came here to tell you and hoping you'd understand. Gulf and I---"

"I remember bits and pieces of the incident Mew." 

Now my face is drained out of color.  My heartbeat just accelerated.

She looks at me. "You know it's not gonna work, right?"

"What do you remember about the fire Lisa?"

"Bits and pieces, I'm still trying to recreate it in my mind. That's why I went home. I wanted to tell you. You have been waiting for this for ten years."

I closed my eyes. I asked her something that can confirm my suspision. "What's this got to do with Gulf?"

"One of the things I remember is a face. A face trying to grab dad. Then that face, talking to mom. I am familiar with that face. He looks like an older version of Gulf. After that, I researched just to be sure and I was right," Lisa has already come this far. Her memory is coming back. It's bittersweet.

I was gripping the chair, not talking. I feel my world spinning.

She looked at me. "You don't look surprised Mew." She was calm staring at me intently. I just looked at her. "Oh my God, you knew. Mew what have you done?"

"We still have a chance Lisa, did you set the fire?"

"Mew. My God."

"Calm down, just tell me you didn't set the fire so we still have a chance."

"I can't remember that far Mew. I have added a few session in my therapy. I hope that helps. But how can you let this happen?"

"Look we need to know if you set the fire or not Lisa. I can't do anything because uncle has been fixing things for us to keep things quiet."

"Mew, don't put this on me. I am the one trying my best here."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's not what I meant. If there's anyone to blame it's uncle. He is using this to control me."

"We're done here. Let me know if there's progress in your plans if you have any. Bye brother."