Vague Existence

Chapter 44: Mew

I'm going crazy. I want to please Gulf so much and I'm honestly trying my best to suppress my jealousy over a pierced nipple.

"Do you want me Gulf?" Just because I am an insecure asshole.

"Yes!! Now stop talking and do what you do best."

Make it good Mew. Make it good so he will look for it again and again.

I resumed licking his nipple and tried to bite the metal loop and tugged it.

"Oh my god Mew!" Gulf pulled my hair and dragged my head back to his lips, then he tried to unsuccessfully unzip my pants. I stood up and took it off then did the same to his shorts and boxers.

I went back on top of him, his naked skin reminding me of what I have missed for three years. "I missed this Gulf. I miss us------"

"Stop sweet talking me Mew." Then  he dragged my mouth to his again. I tried to block the hurt of not being able to tell him how much this means to me but I'll get what I can. Stop being selfish Mew, just give him what he wants.

I kissed him deeply with all the longing I am feeling hoping to tell him without words how much I miss him.

"Mew, I can't wait. There's a condom in the side table."

Why does he have a stash of condoms ready? I reached for it and put it on me. He then guided my dick on his ass and put his legs in my shoulder. "Fuck me Mew."

Anything for you Gulf, anything for you. My mind chants this but my heart hurts. I moved my body pumping in a steady rhythm.

"Faster Mew." I pumped faster forgetting the pain and just feeling him surrounding me. I pumped faster in the brink of exploding.

"Fuck. I'm coming Mew."

"Fuck Gulf. I love you."

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Not even five minutes after while I'm still trying to gather my emotions that scattered all over the place, Gulf stood up and put his clothes back on.

"You better go Mew before my wife comes home."

"You don't have a wife Gulf, your mother told me." I said then put my clothes on too then threw the condom in the trash bin. I sat down in the sofa again. "Gulf we really need to talk."

"Unless, this is about the fire, we have nothing to talk about Mew." He went to the kitchen and drank some water. The door chimed. We both turned our heads to look. Jag stood frozen by the door looking at both of us. He inspected my unbuttoned shirt and Gulf's flushed face and said, "Did I miss anything?"

I stood up. They both looked at me. "I'll just get my things in the car. I'm staying here tonight." I walked out the door only to remember I forgot my car keys in the house. I was about to open the door again when I heard them talking.

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"Really Gulf? Not even a week and you're fucking him already?"

"It's just a one time thing Jag. Don't over react."

"Don't over react?! I saw that guy lose his mind over you and you tell me not to over react. And you, the first time I saw you here, you were like a robot all work and no play, you don't even take a rest. Then you tell me not to over react? Did you even talk?"

"No."

"So what now? "

"Now nothing Jag."

"Look. I don't want to be the bad guy here, but if you can't talk about your shit-----"

"We won't talk about it Jag. You talk about that shit when you still want to fix things."
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I didn't hear the rest, that hurt like a motherfucker.
"------You talk about that shit when you still want to fix things." It's making a loop in my mind, on repeat and every repeat squeezes my heart painfully. I closed my eyes for a while trying to calm myself.

They stopped talking. I opened the door, swallowed and said, "I forgot my keys." Then walked out again.

I stayed at the car for a while, my hands clutching the steering wheel and my head banging it. The physical pain helps the pain inside. What will you do next Mew?

Three years ago, I would have strategized and distanced myself so I can think clearly and weigh things in my head. But I still lost him. Now, I don't want to think anymore. I will follow what my heart wants even if it gets banged over and over again.

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I carried the box of evidence and my overnight bag in his place. When I got in, Jag was preparing to leave again. "I'll leave you two here so you can talk about your shit." Then he looked at Gulf and said sarcastically, "What? FIX it."

I see Jag get some condoms in the stash where I got one earlier. Then went on his way. I felt a little better.

I put my things in the corner table by the door and looked at Gulf. He looks so indifferent. He looks like he doesn't really care at all.

"Gulf, we really need to talk."

"I really have nothing to say to you Mew."

"Then just hear me out."

"For what? I'm not even interested."

"I really want to tell you the reasons behind what I did."

He laughed sarcastically. "Reasons. You and your reasons."

Then he went out to the garage. I followed him. He was clearing his tools and putting them in their proper places.

"Gulf hear me out please." He went inside the yacht and I can't see him. I didn't dare follow him inside for safety reasons. I waited patiently below, probably around 15 minutes. Then he went out again and saw me, "You're still here?" He was going down the ramp and now closing the garage door.

"Please stop sulking like a kid and let's talk."

He faced me, looking murderous. I hit a nerve. "Me? Sulking? Am I the one acting like a kid?"

He was advancing to me. "I just want you to listen Gulf."

He laughed. "You want me to listen, huh?" Then he hurled an empty paint can to the wall.

"I yearned to listen to you three years ago. When you went home after you talked to your sister, I was going crazy out of my mind. Did you tell me anything? When I woke up without you beside me, I was so sure something was wrong but did you let me reach you? For days I contacted you, trying to understand things you don't even bother explaining to me." Then he smirked. "The night you called after my million and one messages in messenger, I thought I saw you close to the dorm sitting on a bench. I was so sure it was you but because you said you were still in Paris, I kept a blind eye. And what do I get in return? Malee's arms around you with a sparkling engagement ring in a party organized by my mother who's been your client for years. Oh and let's not forget, you just intentionally did not tell me about your parents who died with my father in a fucking fire. Now tell me Mew, who's sulking? Who is acting like a kid?"