Concupiscence ✔️

confession

        Currently, she was biting her lip and contemplating what to make. What was she supposed to make? Jimin had given her full liberty to cook whatever it was she wanted. Only three minutes ago she had asked Wendy what to make. Cooking was not her forte. Something she regretted not having picked up. She could make simple things—but this was her first-time cooking for her boyfriend.

Another month had passed, she was practically living with Jimin in his apartment. Officially, they were together for three and a half months. She had majority of her belongings there. They still had not been intimate, although she was letting her walls down. She knew he was trying to be patient and she felt bad for frustrating him, having heavy make-out sessions didn't help him so she limited those until she felt comfortable to go the next step. She felt safe with him, and they got along just fine. She was finally allowing herself to think things through. Time, did heal all wounds and her wounds were still healing while trying to simultaneously allow someone else in.

Out of sight and out of mind, was what she was practicing. Yerim told her that when they met. If she truly wanted to forget the past and her broken heart, it had to be out of sight and mind. Taehyung was out of sight, but he was not out of her mind. 

She would think about her reaction to everything and realized that the only reason why she reacted like she did was because falling for him was never in her plans. She had been so sure that she would never fall for him and yet did. She nosedived right into the depths of his heart and found her own heart opening up to him. She had come to terms with it. That Taehyung will always have part of her heart, the part he managed to heal. She also knew that if push came to shove, he wouldn't have chosen her over whatever they held over his head. She always knew that and coming to terms with that knowledge helped in healing her. 

She did not want to hurt Jimin, but if ever she would bring up the topic on Taehyung, Jimin would change the subject. She didn't know how long she could live in her guilt. She didn't want to say she loves him and truly mean it, until he knows. If she was to love him fully, she needed to tell him. She needed to let that past come out and how it was before she would have gotten feelings for him. He made her have hope—and tonight, she was going to tell him. Over their dinner she was going to make, she would tell him. It was now or never, and she needed to stop him, stopping her. 

"Wow, out of all the damn grocery stores in all of Seoul, I pick the same as you?" 

Sooyoung looked up from picking what kimchi brand to buy when she heard someone speaking. Her curious look turned into a glare when she saw it was none other than Park Chaeyoung. "Oh, you're free?" 

Chaeyoung scowled at her, reaching past her to grab a jar of kimchi. "What? You're not going to gloat about how you won and are happy with Taehyung?"

"What?" she blinked at the girl. 

"You're with Taehyung, aren't you? This whole time, haven't you and he been together." 

Sooyoung looked away, picking a jar and shaking her head. "Taehyung and I were never together?"

"Bullshit! Why would he do all of this if he wasn't with you? I mean, what's the point?"