Chapter 64.

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CHAPTER 64: dreams are memories that should've been

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I paced around my office that Sunday afternoon in the darkness where I knew no one would see me

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I paced around my office that Sunday afternoon in the darkness where I knew no one would see me. Everything had been driving me insane since my breakup with Brielle and Ivy coming back into my life. She helped me with my work, but it didn't make it any easier.

My hands dug into my hair, fists full of dark locks as I fell down against my desk, my head hitting the wood as I growled out in frustration. Ever since Brielle left, I couldn't sleep or even function because every time I slept, nightmares and flashbacks of that night when I lost my parents ran through my head.

I'd wake up in cold sweat in my room alone with no comfort. When I made it downstairs, my brother refused to look me in the eyes and left the room the second I walked in. Even Coco and Kiara refused didn't want to be around me too often.

"Fuck," I swore, scrunching my eyes shut and furrowing my eyebrows together. No matter how much I tried to shift that girl from my mind, she stayed there looking angelic with that stupid smile I fell in love with on her face. What she said on Friday had haunted my mind and the memories of Ivy's reputation being tarnished clashed with my memories of Brielle.

I gasped out a breath before staring at the wall in front of me where the shelves were. Some boxes of my parents' things were in there and no matter how many times I checked them out, smelled dad's cologne or mom's perfume, the pain just worsened instead of got better.

It was as if breaking up with Brielle was more painful for me than it could ever have been for her.

All I remembered was Ivy coming up to me with tears in her eyes and clinging onto me as I stared back at Brielle in shock. In all the years I've known her, I never knew she had that side of her. That ruthless side, but it was scary how little sympathy she had for Ivy and she tore her apart bit by bit. 


I had been in my office for a while, finishing some work until a headache had started in my head. After getting coffee, I went back to work in the dark office. The curtains were slightly closed, only a little light being let into the room. It had been raining all day and the mood in the house was low. Ivy wasn't here today because she was visiting her grandparents which I was thankful for. I don't know what it is about her, but ever since Friday, my perspective's changed on her.

Ivy used to be my support when I needed it. She understood how I felt and I hated it. I hated how she was the one fling I ran back to because she manipulated me into feeling okay. That smirk on her face because she knew she was one of the only girls I ran back to. As if she was special. I never loved her, I never even appreciated her, but I was so fucking selfish when I was in pain, begging her to talk to me like I couldn't control myself.

Slowly, I stood myself up and made my way upstairs to my room. I wanted to lie down and sleep for a while just so everything would go away. I knew the nightmares would come back, but sleep was too irresistible right now. I knew that was wear the comfort was, but also everything that made me weaker.

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