Reason of Every Why

Four and Thirty 16

Donny woke up and he saw me. It's 4:30 am.

"Go away!" he suddenly told me. I was startled.

He repeatedly shouted at me so the nurses came.

"Let her go, I don't need her here," Donny told the nurses.

My tears suddenly flow looking at his situation. He is sending me away from him.

I wanted to hug him. I wanted to tell him that I am just there for him. And I will always be there when he needs me. But why is he acting the way he does? Can he not recognize who I am? It hurts me thinking that may be he's still attached with his past.

But even if I'm hurting, I should not go. I know he needed me. I know he's sick and he does not mean what he's saying. I decided to stay beside her.

But before I could stay at his side he stood up. He tried to push me away. The nurses immediately run to get his medicine.

I can't stay inside while watching him in pain. I cannot see him. I understood what he wants me to do.

I know he's pushing me away because he does not want me to see him in his situation. I know he does not want to be sick but he is and he can't do anything about it.

I went back home. I am the most worried but I have to understand him.

"Sharlene, you only have 30 minutes to prepare, are you going to school?"

"Please let me go home first."

I prepared myself but I feel like my heart is too heavy to keep my balance.

Then, CJ greeted me.

"Sharlene, why do you look that way?"

I did not reply. I acted as if I didn't see him.

He followed me.

"Sharlene Shin."

"Still I ignored him."

Then he tapped my right shoulder.

"Sharlene, did I do something wrong to treat me this way?"

"I'm..." I wanted to tell him I'm not okay but the more that he will ask so I have to act as if everything is okay.

"I'm okay. I'm going to my class see you later."

"I thought we are classmates," CJ said. "Shall I go back to Korea?" He whispered to himself.

After my class in the afternoon, I quickly keep my things so I could visit Donny.

"Shar, where are you going?" CJ asked trying to follow me.

"CJ, can we have a talk tomorrow? I have an appointment and I have to go."

"Okay, see you tomorrow."

Good he didn't ask anything.

Donny is eating when I arrived. When he heard my cell phone ringing, he remembered about his dad and he started to panic again.

He pushed me away from him and as he's walking back to her room, I hugged his back.

"Donny, please be strong," I told him with tears falling from my eyes.

He's about to face me but I tightly hugged him.

He started to calm down.

"Are you crying?" he then asked.

When the nurses returned, they saw Donny on his bed, relaxed and being calm.

I saw them holding a syringe which means they have to inject him to be calm.