Take Me To Wonderland (Ever After High fan fic)

Chapter 30: Space for Closure

Chapter 30: Space for Closure

I stayed up all night again. This time Chase sat up with me so I wouldn't be alone in the night by myself in the woods. I didn't mind. I liked the company. But after all, he was beginning to drift off and ended up falling back asleep.

Glancing over in his direction, he was peacefully asleep on the grass with his hands underneath his head still in the position from staring at the stars. That's where my head turned, looking up at the constellations in the night sky finding any I could put together into well, a constellation.

However, my heart turned heavy, almost sunken in like something was deeply wrong. And it was right. My mind kept playing the horrible dream over and over again, replaying the moment when I saw my own body in front of me so vividly. It wasn't the scariest dream I've had but it was definitely one of the creepiest. However, it did give me time to reflect on it and how it made me feel.

Always feeling vulnerable. . . Too dependent on other people such as Alistair. . . Always doing the right thing to make everyone happy. . . Was I doing too much? Wasn't what I was doing ever enough for them? I was unwanted majority of the time, but at least Alistair enjoyed my presence, at least as far as I'm concerned. I really need to get a grip. Things have got to change.

Before too long, the sky turned lighter and the sun was beginning to rise. A deep sigh escaped from my lips, knowing another night of no sleep was present. My eyes felt heavy as much as my heart, but my mind continued to spiral into a series of deep thoughts and questioning of my own self-worth, evaluating everything since I was little. The feeling on not having that inner peace inside of me, replaced with an anxious heart constantly worrying or fixing everything. It was definitely needed to have that comfort and rest. I tried to seek that with friendship, and that failed. Maybe that should be shifted out, and start looking a different direction. But what could possibly be the answer to that?

A yawn was heard behind me, not even glancing back to know that Chase was starting to awaken. The birds chirped sweetly as the morning began to rise, the light peaking from behind the trees. A gentle hand rested on my shoulder, a gentle squeeze indicating Chase's awakening.

"No sleep again?" I heard him ask, stretching his muscles behind me before scooting up close to me in the field. He picked his knees up, laying them on the grass underneath him as they popped. There wasn't a response besides a tiny shake of my head to give my answer. "Does this mean you're not going to eat today either?"

I turned to him, my eyes shifting with exhaustion. It's been almost a week without sleep. My body was suffering immensely. There was no telling when my body would finally give out. The lack of food and sleep wasn't a good combination, making me feel ill and malnourished. I was starved and tired. My body was depleting.

My throat was dry when I tried to open my mouth to speak, my tongue crossing over my bottom lip to feel the dryness and cracked texture. Chase looked at me with full concern, much more than before. He was worried. I couldn't have that.

"I'm okay," I spoke, but it was hoarse and cracked. It wasn't a pretty sound. Chase frowned.

"Come on, let's talk about this." He said and I shook my head, looking ahead into the trees as the wind breezed by, ruffling the leaves almost like a lullaby making me want to fall asleep. "Iz, you look terrible. You're not sleeping, you're barely eating. You're getting sick. It's only a matter of time before something really bad happens to you. Come on, let me help you."

"I don't need your help. I can't rely on you." I shook my head, my response short as I looked ahead. Chase huffed, getting frustrated with me.

"What the heck is that supposed to mean? That I'm not reliable?" asked Chase growing a little peeved.