Take Me To Wonderland (Ever After High fan fic)

Chapter 41: A Little Light Reading

Chapter 41: A Little Light Reading

That same night, I snuck out to the very top of the lighthouse. Not that I was sneaking away or anything. It was only a matter of wanting to escape from it all. Maybe at least for just five minutes. Chase was nowhere to be seen in the room anyways. My thought process was thinking that perhaps he was still in the shower. There was no certainty. However, it didn't matter. I needed a break. My mind couldn't settle. Everything was a constant whirlwind of emotions and thoughts. It left me helpless and it was drowning me.

I pushed myself up the ladder, going to the top where the sky was in view. It was getting darker, but with the curse lingering overhead, it still brought that eerie green glow.

There was nothing particular that had to be done. There was nothing to do. It was just me wanting to escape from my thoughts and keep me occupied with something else. It was nice to be alone with my own thoughts. However, the silence was killing me slowly.

Sitting on the bench from the window, there wasn't much of a nice view. The light from the lighthouse shone on the open sea but there wasn't anything to fantasize about. Instead, my mind wandered back to the night before. Of course, it never went away. It was like a constant loop of hearing Damon's shouts as he was completely obliterated to ashes in the wind. He was still a person. Good or not, nobody deserves to die because of me. I'm a walking disaster. My whole life is a curse, isn't it? That's all it's ever felt like. Just one big mess.

"Iz?" Chase said clearly from the floor beneath me. I didn't answer.

He found me immediately. He climbed up the ladder fast, standing behind me as my gaze was focused on the sea ahead of me. The waves crashing on the shore brought a sense of peace to me, but it wasn't enough to ease my mind.

"Iz, come on." Chase said.

There was no telling what was wrong with me. It wasn't like I was refusing to engage conversation, but there was a feeling of dissociation. Putting myself back together, I still couldn't get myself to speak. There wasn't an idea of what to say. My mouth felt glued shut. The sea wouldn't leave my sight. It didn't feel like I was here even when I tried. I didn't want to be. At least, not with these emotions and thoughts running through my head.

"Can you not shut me out for a minute?" Chase snapped, getting upset. It startled me causing me to jump in defense. "Pay attention to me!"

"What?" I said not so kindly. My back was still turned to him.

"Look at me!" He said loudly. "Please, I am not going to talk to you if you can't even look at me."

My body snapped, jerking myself to him forcefully. There was no anger toward him at all. But it was rivaled up inside me waiting to spill. Chase took a defensive stance taking a few steps back.

"What? What do you want from me?" I said a little too loudly. I was already getting frustrated. Everything was irritating. It wasn't even him that was the problem. It was me.

"I want you to talk to me. Don't you see that I'm trying here?" Chase said. I've never seen him more serious and angry at me like this before. "I'm doing everything I can for you. I'm trying, I really am. . . You're not the only one who's scared. I am too. But I don't know what to do if you don't talk to me. Just tell me something, anything. Do you need time? Comfort? Peace? Do you need space? What - what is it, Izzy?"

"Please, don't give me space." I said with a faint shake of my head. "That's the last thing I want with you. You're my friend. But I'm. . ."

"Iz, look, not everyone is going to hurt you." Chase said with a much more fresher tone. "I'm not. You know I'm not like that. I want to help you. That's what I do. But I — I can't if you don't let me in. Please, please, Iz. Don't shut me out."