PR? (Camila/You)

chapter twenty-two

I woke up and was immediately smacked in the face with the events of the night prior. I squeezed my eyes shut, pinching the bridge of my nose. I overstepped last night. I was upset over being called an abuser and what do I do? I say things to Camila to hurt her. I call her things to hurt her. Exactly what I didn't want to do, is exactly what I did.

I rolled out of bed, leaving my bedroom and poked my head into the guest bedroom. Camila looked so small, curled up in the large bed.

Alone.

I noticed the death grip on the sheets, as well as the crease in between her eyebrows. She looked so unpleasant.

I approached the bed, climbing on and pulling Camila's small body into my arms, kissing her head softly. "I'm so sorry." I whispered against her hair. I felt her shift, lifting her head as she opened her eyes. She smiled before pulling back slightly, looking almost scared. My eyes teared up as my heart broke. I did this. I scared her. I hurt her. "Hey, hey, shhh." I slid down, lying next to her. "Camila, I'm so sorry. I...I don't know what to say."

Camila looked at me, her jaw tight. "You can start by explaining where all of that came from." She requested softly.

I licked my lips before taking a deep breath. "Last night, my anxiety was high and I was overwhelmed and shit. I smoke before bed to kinda...calm down, I guess."

"Okay...that doesn't explain what happened. I've seen people high. They get over excited, paranoid, even horny." Camila took a deep breath. "What I saw last night, that was completely different."

"I know. I-It's not just the weed, Camila." She looked at me expectantly. "It's the weed mixed with my medication. I have a prescription for Celexa and Buspirone, for anxiety and depression." Camila's mouth opened slightly, and she breathed out slowly. "I should have told you, I know."

"Y/N," Camila ran her fingers down the side of my face. "Why would you smoke if you know it doesn't mix with your meds?"

"I do it before bed. That way I'm not like...angry. But, when you said something, and you sounded disappointed, I wanted to hurt you for it. Verbally," I quickly added. "I've never been physically violent."

"How often?" Camila asked, visibly nervous for the answer.

"It used to be every night. It's gone down some, since you've been here. You make me feel better." Camila blushed as she hid her smile. "I just...last night I was...I don't know."

"It's okay. I mean, I don't like it. And I'd rather you stop, but I know I can't control what you do." Camila spoke softly, her hand playing with my hair. "Lauren...she used to smoke a lot. She still does. And it put a lot of strain on us. She did it with her friends. That turned into doing coke with her friends. I can't go through that again."

"I'm done. After last night, I can't. I can't do that to you. Honestly, I'd rather be on edge and upset than ever treat you like that again." I told her, kissing her forehead. "Are we gonna be okay?"

Camila smiled softly, "After all you've forgiven me for, I think it's only fair." I leaned in to kiss her lips, only to have her slightly turn her head. "I...I'm sorry, I just. I keep seeing you saying it, over and over. Did you...mean any of it?"

I nodded solemnly. "I get it. Take your time. Just know, I regret it more than anything. And no, absolutely none of it is what I really think about you. I wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry." I went to leave the bed, only to have Camila grab my arm, pulling me back. She pressed her lips to mine. The kiss wasn't anything too crazy, just enough for me to know that we're okay.

"I love you, Y/N. That will never change."

"I love you so much." I clambered back onto the bed, pulling Camila into me as I held her close. All I need was her. That was it.

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(a/n): this is about half of what i usually write but 🤷‍♀️
i have the next chapter planned out and i wanna say it'll be out by 2:00 am the latest (est time)

also, drop down some questions you'd want camila and y/n to answer. (they can be as explicit as you want lol). it's for smth in the next chapter ;)

don't forget to vote
thanks for reading❤️