19 | you weren't thinking

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And what difference does it makeWhen this love is over?

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And what difference does it make
When this love is over?

✂︎------------------------

POV - Reece

Flashback

October 3rd, 2018, Wednesday

ANOTHER DAY, another mad Laurene. A day she wasn't pissed at something, at someone, at me, was like a day in Heaven. It got tiring, of fucking course it got tiring. I felt like every day I had to help her out of the bottomless pit she'd climb herself into whenever she was sad or mad. 

A big black hole she'd put herself in, isolating herself from people, saying the bare minimum if you got her to talk at all, and just staring blankly at people. Like she had no emotions.

But I'd never blame her, or get mad at her, or leave her. It was pretty much a daily routine now. Her maids would wake up her and she'd come to school looking like a lifeless China doll. And before class, I'd always have to find some kind of way to cheer her up. At least get her thinking like a normal student. And she'd do everything normally, as normal as she could, and go to bed overthinking and falling back into that hole.

The worst part was that she never cared, either. She didn't care how mad or sad she was because emotions didn't matter to her. Actions and words did. I could've told her I was fuming, about to kill someone because I was so mad, and she'd never care unless I did something about my anger. Like the time I fought with my best friend, I went to her saying I was so pissed. She just sat on the other end of the phone, agreeing and saying "mhm" until I was done ranting. Then the next day she asked why I wasn't sitting with him at lunch or talking to him during class.

I don't know if Laurene even processes emotions. I don't even know if she actually loves or cares about me at all, but I'll take my chances.

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