And it all started with this meet & greet - Ondreaz Lopez

Chapter 39. "You don't care?"

 The rain pelted against the windowpane. I knew it would rain if I argued with Manuel. Of course, he'd already heard that we'd been seen, so he was more than just in a bad mood. "Mr Cowell, believe me, I really don't need all this and I'd like to solve it differently, but for one thing, it's no use and for another, it wouldn't be fair to the fans to pretend that nothing is wrong," I tried to remain objective, hopefully it helped. 

 After another ten minutes we ended the conversation and I threw Ondre's mobile phone on my bed. "Everything settled?", he asked, watching me lean against the door frame. Sighing, I nod. "I need a shower. Shall we go upstairs?", I asked, pointing to my wardrobe. 

 Completely confused, he looked at me and I laughed. On my wrist I pulled him behind me through the room with clothes and to the stairs behind a clothes rail that we ran up. With the key hanging on the wall I opened the door and stepped out into the pouring rain. 

 My bpyfriend still looked very sceptical as I walked further into the middle of the roof. I loved the rain. It was very cool outside, but it was nothing compared to the freezing temperatures at the beginning of the year. After all, we had been struggling with -30ºC and now it was a full 15ºC. 

 When I started laughing and spinning around in circles, Ondre also took it in his stride to come outside and whirled me through the air. Laughing we danced to the imaginary music. At some point we kissed. After a few minutes we separated again with reddened lips and looked deep into each other's eyes.

 "I love you," he suddenly said, and I was a little surprised at first. I was about to answer when he beat me to it. "You don't have to say it too, Soph. But that's the way it is and I don't want to hide it from you any longer." I immediately fell back around his neck and laid my head on his chest. We stood there for some time until I looked at him again. 

 "I love you too," I smiled and then pulled him back to the door, as he was obviously cold. I saw exactly how he grinned, even in the evening twilight. 

 ---

Frightened, I woke up. Sweat was running down my forehead and my shirt was sticking to my back. I had to suppress my screaming and tried to stop my tears, but I couldn't. Carefully I released myself from Ondre's embrace, taking care not to wake him, which turned out to be very difficult, my hands trembled abnormally. 

 When I was free, I took the black pen out of my drawer and went with it and my dream diary number 19 to the other side of the room. I turned on the lamp by my windowsill and sat on it. With blurred vision I started to write in it. 

 First the date and then the time when I roughly fell asleep and woke up. Underneath, if today was any special day. Then came the dream.

I'm lying on the roof, looking at the clouds. Normally I can always make out shapes in them, but right now they are just white patches that slowly pass by. I am not alone. He's lying beside me, Ondreaz. But I can't feel his warmth, because he is as far away from me as the thin ceiling allows. 

 I want to ask him to come closer, but when I see the cold in his gaze, I close my mouth again. I am afraid. Not of him, I think. More of what is about to happen. There is a strong tension in the air. I feel uncomfortable and cross my arms in front of my chest. 

 But why am I afraid? What am I afraid of? Ondre loves me, he said so himself. "I lied to you," he says suddenly, as if he could read my thoughts, but that's not the warm voice I love so much. It's emotionless now, empty. "Actually," he continues, leaning on one elbow while I think about his words. He lied to me? In what situation? 

 "...I don't love you." An incredible pain is building up in my chest. I can't show weakness now. But it's hard when the ground is ripped out from under your feet. Ondre gets up and I do the same.