This is gonna be like bonfire night!
Dudos imma do a rant you butts no gonna forget!
Well, its a kindish rant.
Dunno
Anywayyyyyyyy lets get to the point.
TYPES OF PEOPLE AT THE FREKIN MALL
yup I'm turning into a wattpad version of IIsuperwomanII PS SHE IS MY LIFE, I LUV YOU MANJEET!!!
(THESE ARE ALL MY IDEAS COPY AND YOR BUTT GONNA BE BUUUUUURNT)
Type No....
1.The bargain hunters
Yep, that crazy nutter middle aged lady that is always crouching by the by-one-get-one-free aisle. Whenever WITHOUT DOUBT if your near them, they'll start barking in your ear, it goes a liiiiiiiiiitle bit like this ----->
Me: *walks to get weetabix* *reaches for the weetabix brand box*
Bargain hunter: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! *slaps my hand away*
Me: *looks confused*
Bargain hunter : use the tesco wheat biscuits, they taste like weetabix but are 58 pence cheaper!
What. The.Heck.
I. Dont. Care.
I'm here to get weetabix, I dont want a lecture on how good tesco does a copy of it.
On. My. Shopping. List. It. Says. Weetabix. So. That. Is . What. Imma. Go. Get.
I ain't dat poooooor.
You can carry on asking people for vouchers for Christmas but, I ain't, okay!?
2. The Selfie addicts
These people are nutty about SELFIES like that is sooooooooo 2013!
So, you just see a huuuuuuge group of teens walk in and its like.
#MorningSainsburys!
#BananaSmiles
#DORITOSILOVEYOU
#byonegetonefreeOMG
#BenandJerrysHALFPRICE
#checkingout
#reusingbags!
#Timetoleave
THANK. ALLAH.
Are you gone already?
Basically their WHOLE shopping trip is recorded with selfies and hashtags.
Its. Just. A. Grocery. Store.
3. The sneaky mom and daughter
So this'll be a mom and daughter, who are just being CREEPY.
That, was an understatement.
They're just walking around the shops like they're hiding a gun or something.
Like WTF?!
Mom: *whispering* look carrots
Daughter : * whispering* shhhhhhhh its mike!
Mom: *whispering* half Price! Wait.... will we look like tramps?
ITS FINE WRECKING BALL IS PLAYING FULL BLAST NO ONE WILL HEAR YOUR VOICE CALM DOWN.
4. The spoilt child.
Imma just explain like this.
SC: NO MOMMY I WANT GREEN BANANAS NOT YELLOW
SC: NO DADDA I WANT THIS
SC: MOMMMMMMY I WANNA GO HOOOOOME
SC: I WANNA NEW TOOTHBRUSH
SC: NOOOOOOOO! I WANT A PINK TOILET BRUSH NOT A WHITE ONE
Kids these days, I'd kill to have a toilet brush when I was their age!
5. The Giant Asian Family
One question.
HOW MANY FRIKIN KIDS DID YOU HAVE.
'Coz I swear I can see about seven kids, grandparents, some other random couple and what I think is the mom and dad.
You. Dont. Have. To. Bring. Your. Entire. Family. To. Get. Some. Toilet tissue.
DONT YOU UNDERSTAND
I'm justmhere trying to buy some jaffa cakes and you, your kids and the rest of our generation is emptying the stock.
TESCO. WILL. RUN. OUT. OF. FOOD.
Or just insert Walmart in that sentence (don't blame me I'm british).
Do just, next, time. Please just come yoursleves.
6 the thief
Me:*walks to shelf*
Thief: * sprints after me and grabs last box of chocolate muffins of the shelf*
Me: OY, OY THATS MY FOOD YOU TAKING OY COME BACK NOW,
Thief:* quickly pays and runs out of shops*
I HATE YOU YOU SMELL LIKE POO YOU KISSED A KANGAROO YOU LICKED DOGS DOO DOO. .......
Woooh imma go find some oxygen.
Luv yaa!
Storyzrok
