Chapter twelve

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    Nishinoya POV

    I start to wake up with the sound of some voices. I pretend do be sleeping. I don't want to face anyone right now, I feel too fragile and broken to do that.
    "... that doesn't belong to you. It's one of the worst feelings you can have. I've been there. I'm still in there. It's hard. You feel disgust of yourself and you're always afraid that people may find out about you and feel the same way you feel about yourself."
    There's a few seconds of silence and then another voice speaks.
    "You..." I hear the surprise in the deep voice of the other person.
    "Yeah. I'm a trans guy too."
    In that moment I can't contain my tears from falling. I knew at least one of the voices. It was Asahi's. I didn't know if I could face him right now since he probably hates me. An involuntary sob escape my lips and I curse myself for not being able to hide my weakness.
    "Noya?" I heard Asahi call me but I don't move. I'm with my back facing him so he can't see my face. I feel his hand on my arm rubbing circles with his thumb and I flinch at the contact. "Yuu look at me." He asks but I know if I do so I'll not be able to stay strong. I'll break down the second I look into those chocolate eyes. I shake my head saying no and another sob echoes through my chest. "Please love.  Please look at me babe. I need to see you." I give in and turn around whining a little from the pain on my ribs.
    "I-I'm s-sor-..." I'm cut off by a pair of lips on mine. I let my tears flow during the kiss. When we pull apart I hug him hiding my face on his neck letting myself cry there.
    "It's okay, it's okay." Asahi tells me in a calming voice.
    I look at him and he gives me a warming smile. Then I look at the other people in the room. Iwaizumi and Oikawa, who was shirtless. Looking at his chest I can see two scares one on each side.
    "You..." I say impressed.
    "Yes." He says with a blush covering his cheeks.
    "Thank you... for helping me. I don't know what might have happened if you weren't there." I thank Oikawa and Iwaizumi.
    "You're welcome. Just please don't scare us like this again." Iwaizumi-kun says.
    "I won't."
    "You bet you won't 'cause from now on I'll look carefully after you. You scared me to death! I thought... I thought..." Asahi starts to cry and I hug him tight.
    "I'm sorry Asahi, I thought I could handle it. I thought it was just a little pain." I say rubbing his back.
    "Please don't do it again." The ace asks between sobs.
    "I..." I couldn't promise that. I knew I couldn't.
    "He won't." Oikawa speaks. I look at him confused.
    "Oikawa...?" Iwaizumi wonders.
    "He won't do it again. I won't allow it." Oikawa's face was wet from his tears and he comes in my direction, kneeling down on my side and Asahi. "I'm pretty sure the answer is no but, do you have a binder?"
    I shook my head and he looks at Iwaizumi who looks a little lost. Oikawa looks at me again and says.
    "I have my old binders at home. I don't use them anymore because I had top surgery so I don't need them. I want to give them to you." He says with little tears dancing on his eyes. "After what I saw today... I can't just pretend to be blind about it. I've done what you're doing right now. The bandages were tight and it hurt so bad. But I would use them anyways. That brought me a lot of complications later on. I can't let you go through the same thing I did." Oikawa is trying to be strong, I can tell that, but he's breaking little by little. I feel somehow guilty.
    "You're... saying you'll give me your old binders...?" I was stunned, happy, sad. I was on a tsunami of emotions.
    "Yes. I don't see why not. I don't use them and I don't want you to be wearing those killing bandages again." Oikawa takes a deep breath clearly still trying not to give in to the tears.
    "Thank you! Thank you so much!" I jump to hug him and we both start crying together.
    "It's nothing." He speaks weakly.
    We pull apart and he dresses his shirt back on. There's a light knock on the door and Suga-san walks in.
    "Nishinoya I swear to god I'm gonna kill you!" Suga says and I use my boyfriend as a shield.
    "I'M SORRY MOM! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" I say scared. Suga come close and hugs me.
    "Don't you ever do this again! Understood?" He says angry.
    "Yes mom. I'm sorry."
    "Well I also came here to tell Oikawa and Iwaizumi that your coach was looking for you. Your bus is leaving in fifteen minutes." Suga informs and I can see some sadness in Oikawa's face.
    "Thanks Sugawara-san. Let's go Trashykawa." Iwaizumi grabbing Oikawa by the arm.
    "Wait!" I asked and walk up to them. "Do you have your phone with you?" He takes his phone from his pocket and I give him my number. "Thank you for everything."
    "You're welcome. I'll call you for the binders don't worry." He says before leaving.

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Oikawa it's not a trash after all.

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