Don't Fall For Him

Chapter 37: What Is Happening?

MANDYS POV:

For some reason I cannot shake the feeling that Brian is lying to me. I saw the way he looked at her, I saw the body language, I saw it all. 

::BUZZ::

Sal: Whats up Mandy?

Me: Sal, I have a weird question and please be honest with me...What was Brian's ex fiance's name? Was it Sarah?

Sal:  No why?

Me: We ran into a girl named Miranda. He told me that was just his ex gf.

Sal: No, Miranda was his ex fiance. She left him for a police officer about 5 years ago. Honestly I didn't think he was ever over her. 

Me: I thought so...I just made up with him tonight and now this happens. Sal I cant do this anymore. I love him but I am not going to compete with other women all the time.

Sal: I don't blame you. You shouldn't have to. I'm so sorry Mandy. If you want I can swing by later?

Me: Roxy and Chris are at the house.

Sal: Well....you can come to my place if you want. We can just talk and maybe help get your head straight. 

Me: Ok....yeah give me like half hour.

Im sitting in the car still shocked. I look over at Brian who is running his hands over his head in disbelief. I see the look in his eyes...he still loves her. I know he doesn't want to hurt me but he still loves her. 

"Brian...can you take me home?" I say looking out the window trying to keep the tears back.

"Mandy....it was just an ex, she doesn't mean anything." I can tell he lying as his voice is shaky.

I sigh and look at him with tears welled up, "Just take me home, please."

He agrees and starts the car up.

The car right back to my house is silent and cold. There is no hand holding, no laughing, no music nothing...just silence.  We pull up to my house and I sit there a minute pondering what to say to him, how to approach this gently....but I don't. I open my car door and just walk out. I walk away from him, with no words being said. 

I walk to the gate and I hear his jeep pulling away. There was no fight for me, no chasing after me to see if I was ok, no nothing. He just drove off. 

I walk to the backyard and sit in the gazebo. The lights are on..it always looks so pretty when its all lit up at night. I remember when I first came here to visit my Aunt and Brian was here with me. I laugh at the memory of him hearing me talk to myself that night and that adorable smile he gave me as he walked away. 

Why is this so hard. Why does he drive me crazy with his bullshit but yet I still love him and would do anything for him? I cant keep putting myself through this. I have to either fight for us...again or just walk away for good.

::RING::

"Oh Hey Sal, I'm sorry. I came home and have just been sitting here in the backyard thinking."

Sal: "Its ok, I was just worried about you. I didn't hear back from you and I was concerned. You OK?"

"No...yes...I don't know. I have so much on my mind and I don't know how to take any of this." 

Sal: "I understand. If you still wanna meet up we can. you can talk to me."

"Thanks, but I think I might just stay out here for a while and figure some shit out."

Sal: "OK, well if you need me please call."

"Thanks Sal...bye"

I sit there and look up at the night sky. It's still cloudy from the rain earlier but I can see some of the stars twinkling. I put my head back and close my eyes. What the hell am I doing with my life? Im chasing a guy who is still in love with his ex fiance, I have no other friends besides Roxy and the guys...I need a change. I need to do something......