Promise Never to fall in-love with Me (Editing)

Chapter 39

Phoebe's POV

We're back at it again. I feel like calling Bri but I don't feel like confiding in anyone right now.
"God you haven't even fuck yet"
His words replay in my mind. Burning more than a ninety year old scotch.
"Who told you that I don't care?"
I'm so confused right now and I'm trying my best not to have a breakdown.

Why does he has to be like this? It's too tiresome to be going in circles with him especially when we're just friends. But then again he said something that only confuses me even more. My phone begins to ring beside of me and I look over at it still hugging my knees to my chest sitting on my bed. It stops ringing then a few seconds later it rings again.

I wipe my stray tears underneath my eyes and pick up my phone answering it without looking at the caller ID.
"Hello" I answer trying to hide the hoarseness in my voice.
"Phoebe don't hang up" the person on the end pleas and I nod even though he can't see me.

Why is he calling?Does he love tormenting me so much?
All these questions bombardes my mind and a tear falls from my eye.
"What do you want Brent?" I sniff.
"Do you love tormenting me so much? I have been good to you for months and you still haven't change" I can't help it anymore;the tears that fall from my eyes tastes salty as I lick my lips. I don't want to have a panic attack but I can't help it.

"No I don't like tormenting you it's....it's just that you wouldn't understand and I can never change. I'm sorry" he says with truth behind his words.
"Then let me understand Brent you can't keep shutting me out I'm sick of it" I blow down. I'm tired of this back and forth with him and him hurting my feelings every minute he gets.
"That's why I'm giving you one last chance to go" he says and my heart clenches.

Is that what I really want? Does he want that? No it's about me and my anxiety not him.
"Tell me one thing.....did you mean what you said in the car earlier"the words fumble from my lips. I take deep breaths calming myself before I can't anymore. Luckily my dad is working a little over time tonight so he can't hear me.
"Not all of it" he says softly.
"Which ones did you mean?" I quietly ask trying not to rethinking what happened.  It's better to get everything off of my chest now than never.

"When I said I c-cared for you" he tells me and my heart leaps.
Does he mean that? Is that one more of his catches for me to forgive him? My head has become a machine of questions and I feel a bit awful for thinking so low of him. What else must I think or say?
"Don't play games with me Brent." I rise my voice a little.
"I'm not ok. You are the only person who seems to put up with my shit and forgive me again and again. I don't want to break you Phoebe so I'm giving you this chance to get out of my life and not come back" he answers quietly.
I rake my fingers through my hair as a sign of frustration and uncertainty.
"It's exam week and I can't focus properly right now. I'll give you the answer by the end of the week" the words burn as I say them.
"I know you have a lot on your plate right now and I can't wait so long ju-"
"Brent," I say sternly.

"Fuck,ok" he blows down. I can picture him tugging his hair trying to control the anger boiling in him.
"Well I have to go to sleep now so I'll see you around" I tell him. The words hurt as I say them.
"Don't please," he pleas making me confused. My tears have stopped and it's just my mind and heart betraying me now.
"Don't what?" I question.
"Stop acting so kind and calm. I deserve to be shouted at and called names not this" his voice is laced with annoyance.
"No one does. Not even the most..." I struggle to find the right words.
"Fucked up. I know" he blows down.
"Yeah" I breathe.
"I hope you make the right choice Phoebe" he says hanging up the phone. I hope I do too.

Brent's POV

"I hope you make the right choice Phoebe" I tell her then hang up the phone. I hope she chooses to leave me because I can't give her what she wants as a friend nor anything else but pain.
"Do you love tormenting me so much?"
Her voice echos in my head and I tug the ends of my hair in frustration. Why can't she just leave me alone.
Because she cares for you dick.
My subconscious says and it's not the right fuck time for his judgment.

Her voice was clear of judgment not one ounce was there she's too good to me and I treat her like shit. It's not my fault that I hardly had a father figure around in my childhood life. I have to make her go but a selfish part of me wants her to stay. How could she think that I love tormenting her?
I guess that's because it's the only thing I have ever done to her.

I warned her so many times and she doesn't listen she keeps coming and coming. I get up from my bed and walk over to my dresser taking up the closest thing I can get access to in the dark and smash it against the wall. The shattering sound the glass makes against the wall doesn't satisfy me as yet so I reach for my lamp and smash it against the wall in rage.

"Brent are you ok?" I hear my mothers worrisome voice ask. I remain silent and connect my fist to the wall.
"Fuck" I cuss. It isn't fucking dry wall. After a few minutes the sound of footstep decreases reaches my ears and I walk into my bathroom. I turn on the faucet and put my hand underneath the cold running water.

Phoebe's POV

It's the third day of exam and I'm drained from last nights situation. I sit in my respectful seat and await the exam paper.
"When I said I c-cared about you"
His words replay in my mind and I suck in a breath. The exam was a little challenging but I did my best and hand in my paper. I went to meet up with Bri and the others.
"Hi" I greet them.
"Hey B you look awful"Bri grimaces and so did I.
"I'm just a bit stressed that's all" I tell her shrugging.

"You sure that it's just the exams?" She cocks her eyebrows. I nod.
I look at her and she looks like she's contemplating whether to tell me something.
"Brent was smashing glasses in his room last night" she bites back her tears. The pang of pain I feel in my chest is unbearable. I can't help but blame myself for his outburst.
"It's ok" I hug her while hushing her in the process.
"He's always like this and it pains us. It's all because of dad" she cries and I sit her down on one of the benches near us. I hate their father already and I don't even know the guy.
"It's ok don't beat yourself up about it" I tell her.

"It just hurts when your other half is constantly hurting. I had mom when I was going through a lot but he had no one. We tried to be there for him but he needed a father figure but there was none" she sobs even harder. I look behind me and Kyle nor Mycheal is here anymore.

I look back the Bri rubbing her back in a soothing manner. She takes a few deep breaths calming down. It hurts seeing her like this.
"We might have a mis hap" I tell her while she wipes her tears.
"Don't blame yourself ok never" she scolds and I can't help but laugh and feel guilty at the same time. She laughs along and we change the heart aching conversation. But my mind can't seem to leave him and the choice he wants me to make. I haven't seen him today, he must've been in another group of exam doers. Bri drops me home after and I went straight into my room.