Again

Panic Attacks and Nightmares

Upon returning from Maryland, Janet had a bad feeling that something was getting ready to happen. She started distancing herself from Toni and her nightmares had returned. She hadn't had nightmares in well over two months. The week before Christmas something happened. What that was Toni didn't know. Janet wasn't ok. Toni rarely asked for Heather Headley to stand in for her but tonight she had to. Janet hadn't answered her phone all day and that wasn't like her.

Toni had Joey take her to Janet's loft. She used her key to get in. The curtains were drawn and only one light was on downstairs, there were no lights on upstairs either. Toni found that very odd. Joey checked downstairs for Janet and Toni looked upstairs. Toni found Janet sitting in the corner of her shower fully clothed with the water running. Toni left her there for a moment to let Joey know she found her and to talk to him.

"Joey, she's in the shower fully clothed." Concern all over Toni's features. She was scared.

"Damn, she must be having nightmares again. Something triggered them to come back. Look for anything that could have triggered it."

"So she's done this before?"

"Yeah, if she can't get to the ocean or hear rain. The next best thing is the shower. The sound of the water is her happy place. But it must not be working."

"Joey it's like she looked through me. Didn't even acknowledge that I was there."

"Go do your best to get her out of the water. Change her clothes and put her in the bed. She will probably get sick. We don't know how long she's been in there. I'll keep looking for whatever triggered this."

Toni did what Joey told her to do and got Janet out of the shower. She took her wet clothes off and dried her off. Janet wasn't resisting but she was cooperating either. She was just existing. Toni dressed her in sweatpants and a long sleeve t-shirt. She led her to the bed and laid her down. She kissed her forehead and went downstairs.

"Toni, I found it. That bastard. Her soon to be ex-husband is suing her for royalties and director's credits on a few of her videos."

"Wow, I didn't think he'd stoop that low."

"That's not it though, he's been having you guys followed." He showed Toni the pictures. One picture stood out, Toni's face was circled and the words 'the batch will die' were written on it.

"This is what triggered her panic attack. I know she had one and we are seeing the aftermath of it."

"She mentioned having them and nightmares to me but she hadn't had any since we got back together. So a little more than two months."

"Toni she will be okay. We just have to help her get past this. Go hold her, if she falls asleep she may have a nightmare. Be prepared they can be pretty intense but I think you can help to soothe her. If she has another panic attack have her try to breathe on every three count."

"Alright, thanks Joey."

Joey left and Toni locked up and headed up stairs. She knew Janet didn't like when people put the clothes they'd been wearing all day on the bed, but she wouldn't mind this one time. Janet was laying on her side facing the window. Toni got into bed behind her and spooned her holding her tight. After about an hour of just laying there Toni heard the quietest "Thank you" come from Janet. Toni thought her ears were deceiving her until she felt Janet's hand lay on top of the hand Toni had around her waist. Janet finally drifted off into a dreamless sleep. It was the first time in three days that she'd been able to sleep.

Sometime during the night Janet who's usually cold got hot and took off the clothes Toni had put on her. She also took Toni's clothes off. They had changed sleeping positions and Janet's head ended up on Toni's breast with and her right leg over top of Toni's left leg while Toni laid flat on her back. Toni had been awake for a while she was waiting for Janet to wake up. Janet started moving around waking up.