Unhappy Endings

129: The First Causality

You heard the news that Dumbledore and Harry had returned to the headmaster's office from a small slip of flying paper. It also beckoned you to join them. So, without waking your sleeping husband, you slipped out of bed, put a robe on and walked towards the room. It didn't take long until you could hear the voices within. "Please sit, Harry... I understand how you feel—"

The boy shouted back at the headmaster. "No you don't!" Your hand was on the doorknob.

"You forget that Sirius was my friend too. He has family. You are not the only person on this earth capable of feelings, Harry." You pushed open the door. "Speaking of," Harry nearly snarled at you as you walked in. "There is no shame in feeling pain, Harry. It is your greatest strength..."

"You don't have a clue! You can't possibly know! And neither does she!"

You spoke, "What can't I know?" Harry grabbed an instrument from one of the tables and threw it across the room.

"This pain is part of being human, Harry..." Dumbledore ignored you.

"Then I don't want to be human!" Harry kicked at a table, breaking the leg and sending the whole thing clashing to the ground. "I don't care! I don't care!" He began to silently weep, tears pouring down his face. He threw over another table and quickly fell to his knees.

"What am I missing?! What has happened!?" Your heartbeat began to race, sensing something was very, very wrong.

"You do care. You care so much you feel like you will bleed to death because of it."

Harry got to his feet with a harsh look towards Dumbledore. "Ask him."

You turned to the headmaster, "Tell me, Albus." Using his first name hopefully denoted how serious you were.

"Sirius... is dead." He shook his head and closed his eyes painfully. Your hand went to your stomach, thinking you might be sick at any second. But instead of vomit, came tears. Sure, you hadn't loved your uncle with the deepest devotion, but he was family. Sympathetic family. Meanwhile, Harry turned and moves to the door. He yanks on the handle. The door will not open. He looked at Dumbledore, who was patting your shoulder.

"Let me out." He demanded. Dumbledore denied him, causing Harry to draw his wand, looking furious. "You can't keep me in here!"

You wept openly on Dumbledore's shoulder now as he held you tightly. "I daresay I can. And if you actually do attack me and by proxy Professor Tonks with that wand, Harry, I'm afraid to say you will regret it." Harry was silent, breathing hard and grating at Dumbledore. The Headmaster pointed the chair in front of his desk, where after a few minutes, Harry finally sat, looking sullen. You also moved to sit in a plush chair to the side. "It is my fault Sirius died tonight." You looked at the headmaster knowingly; it was unlikely it was truly his fault. "I have kept things from you, Harry. Things that I should not have concealed. You had a light to know, but I put off telling you. Had I told you that Voldemort might try to lure you down to the Department of Mysteries you would never have gone there tonight. Sirius would never have gone after you. That fault lies with me. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me one day." Harry stared angrily out the window as your sobs turned to whimpers. Although devastating, you suddenly felt overwhelmed with emotion over how Harry was hurting; that was his only family. Yet, he had so little time with him. It wasn't even surmountable to how you felt about Severus—you had known each other than Harry and Sirius had. Dumbledore's voice interrupted your thoughts. "Harry, I owe you this explanation, to show you the failings of an old man."

Harry locked eyes with you, with a sense of knowing, and sat back to listen.