Unhappy Endings

139: Insecurity

The dinner was a success, in your mind and you and Severus retired to your quarters absolutely stuffed. Severus had practically eaten an entire rack of lamb with an herbed breadcrumb crust. The wine that accompanied it was a perfect accompaniment, causing Severus to be more lively and engaged than ever. You enjoyed the dinner, but a question that had been nagging you could no longer be contained—especially with the amount of alcohol in your body. When you were changing your clothes, you finally unburdened yourself.

"Severus, I have to ask you about my aunt Bellatrix. I'm not usually one to listen to or care about gossip, but Auntie Cissy told me that before... everything... She and you went home together occasionally. Was there anything between you and her? And don't mention LeStrange... we all know how she felt about him."

He paused before answering. He first contained his surprise that you even knew about those nights during that dark time in his life. He was clueless about how his "relationship" with Bellatrix was now suddenly gossip after all these years. Truthfully, it made him angry to hear anyone trying to cause any harm to his relationship with you. However, the alcohol in his body made him more... blubbery than usual.

"Bella's a beautiful woman, and truthfully, I was slightly attracted to her. But I'm not interested in her anymore."  You were hanging onto every word and somehow, what he said was cold comfort to you.

"So, do you find me as attractive?" You sat on the bed next to Severus and curled up next to him.

"Of course, I do. A million times more so. Why would you think that I didn't?" He cooed in your ear.

"Because to Auntie Cissy, it seemed like you were chasing Auntie Bella and she was taken from you, and now I'm the replacement Black woman."

Severus hadn't thought about it that way, because it was so profoundly moronic. But he could see how you might feel insecure. "Absolute trash. Don't listen to that old hat. I was assigned to nothing more than her babysitter. She and the Dark Lord... I know I shouldn't gossip... they were... together if you could call it that. I had to watch over her during a particular period of her life." He was bound to secrecy on that point and couldn't extrapolate further. You scolded yourself from letting idle gossip poison any possible feeling between you both. Severus was right, it was trash. The fact that he was sitting at your shared bed said volumes about where he wanted to be. You decided that you didn't wear jealousy well, and that there was no upside to taking this further.

"You're right. I'm just being silly. Family whispers in my ear and I start listening to them."

Severus now understood the origin of your questions. "By people, you mean your aunt Narcissa? Because I have some things I'd like to whisper in your ear that you'd like to hear" Just saying the name irritated him. She had always seemed to thrive on the gossip mill, and had clearly gotten to you. He was determined to take your mind off of it.

Now that you had cleared the air, it was clear to you that Severus wanted to make his intentions clear. "I'm interested in hearing what you have to say. Care to share?"

"Come here,"  he muttered. You looked over at him noting he was holding his arms out.

"Now?" you asked, looking down at your pajamas. "I could put something... nicer on."

"Now would be preferable."