STILL | 𝘯. 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘯 (book 2) ✔

Chapter 72: Starving.

[I didn't know that I was starving till I tasted you
Don't need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo
By the way, by the way, you do things to my body]

      Going to dinner with your boyfriend, the guy you cheated on your boyfriend with, and your friends that ship you and the person you cheated with a week after you cheated on your boyfriend is extremely awkward. Especially because your best friend is on her honeymoon and you can't call her for support.

      It was Louis' idea. He knew what he was doing and what would happen and he suggested it anyway. "Can you pass me the salt?" I passed Harry the salt shaker and continued to eat. Besides Harry asking for the salt, we were silent. 

      "So... What were you guys doing before this?" I hear Niall almost choke on his water. Okay, Niall and I were together before this, not doing anything. Which is why we got here together, our excuse being that I just gave him a lift. 

      "Jesus, Ni. It's just water." Louis rolls his eyes at Niall before taking another bite from his food.

      "I wasn't doing anything." I shrugged. 

      From beside me, Ross swallows his food, "I was at practice." He says. 

      "I was getting a mani." Heather's irritating voice says from beside Niall. I don't know what it was, but it was like Ross and Heather were covering up something, but at the same time, I didn't really care. 

      "I was cleaning." Niall says after calming down from his choking on his water. 

      "Niall? Cleaning? You don't hear that everyday." Liam comments. 

      "I was writing." Harry says.

      After Harry, silence came over us again. I peeked up at Niall and already saw him staring at me making my stomach do somersaults. I look back down and see Niall smirk at my behavior, Did I want to be with Niall right now? Yes, but... I can't. Ross is here, we've only been dating for like two weeks. I stopped caring after Niall and I kissed at Yomara's wedding. Just by looking at Niall, I could tell that he was thinking of something with me involved. "Is everything alright?" The waiter from before came up to us. We all nod. 

      "Yes, everything is really good." Zayn says. The waiter nods before leaving. On my thigh, I felt Ross' hand making me feel slightly uncomfortable.

      By the end of dinner, Harry ended up paying for all of our meals and went outside. Ross, Heather, Harry, Louis, Liam, and Zayn all went to their separate cars while Niall and I went to mine. I got into the driver's seat and Niall got into the passenger's. When we were for sure out of anyone's view, I felt Niall's hand on my thigh. "Way to play it cool, Ni." I tease him. He rolls his eyes, "You said you were cleaning!" I laugh. 

      "Stop laughing at me!" Niall pouts. I giggle and take his hand from my thigh. 

      "Or what?" I challenge him. I see his eyebrows raise as he looks over at me. 

      "Or I'm going to make sure the neighbors know who you belong to." I felt my heart rate increase at his statement. The fact he said it so casually is what got to me most.

      "Oh yeah?" I look over to him as we stop at a stop light. "I'd like to see you try." I say. I see him squirm slightly at my words making me smile in victory. I loved that I had such a simple effect on him.

      When we got back to my apartment, we kept quiet and lowkey in case anyone was around us. When the elevator doors closed, Niall pulled me towards him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and his chin on my shoulder. It felt comfortable, if I'm being honest. He planted small kisses on my shoulder and neck until the elevator opened. We casually walked down the hall to my apartment as I pulled the keys out of my bag.

      When we walked in, Niall waited for me to close and lock the door before he pushed me up against it and kissed me. It was slow and passionate, "Fuck, I missed kissing you." He groaned against my lips. I held his jaw as his arms wrapped around my waist again, pulling me even closer to him. 

      "Niall..." I breathed out. 

      "Hm?" He hummed against my shoulder. 

      "I-I... I'm not ready for anything yet." I said quietly, which was the truth. 

      "It's okay, we won't do anything big." He assured me. "Do you still want to do something, though?" He asks looking at me. 

      I nod, "Just not the big thing yet." He nods understanding what I was talking about before kissing me again.

---

      "Wonderful, as always." Niall comments, laying on my chest as I struggled to catch my breath. 

      I look down, "I'm tired." I say quietly wrapping my arms around his shoulders. His head rests on my chest and his arms wrapped around me. 

      "Then go to sleep, love." He says quietly. I play with the brunette hair falling over his eyes and sigh, shifting a little to get comfortable.

      I really wish that Niall and I were just together. But, what would happen? I want to break things off with Ross, I really do, but I don't have the heart to. "Niall?" I whispered, not knowing if he had fallen asleep or not. 

      "Hm?" 

      "Do you think what we're doing is bad?" He stayed quiet for a moment before rolling off of me and propping up on his elbow. 

      "Well, in someone else's eyes, yes." He agreed. That just made the guilt bubble even more as I look the other way. "Emily," He whispers, turning my head back to face him. "In our eyes, we're not doing anything bad. We don't like them-"

      "But they like us. You know how I am, Niall. I hate making people upset." I say, tearing up a little. I hated making people I cared about upset, which is why I always tried fixing things after I screwed up or something happened that made them upset. I was a very passive person and always let them choose what we did and let them have their way. I always wanted what's best for them. 

      "Emily, it's okay. It's obviously not a good thing that we're cheating on Ross and Heather, but there's a simple option. We can just break up with them."

      That was obviously the choice I wanted to do, I wanted to break up with Ross, but I couldn't bring myself to. He looked so happy when I agreed to be with him. "Will you break with Heather?" 

      "If you want me to, yes." I nod, "Are you going to break up with Ross?" I look into his eyes, I know he can see the guilt and sadness in mine. 

      "I don't know how to." He gives a small smile to reassure me that it was okay. 

      "It's okay. Take all the time you need. I'll still be here when you need anything." I smile in response and he leans down, kissing me with a smile.

------

[Starving - Hailee Steinfeld, Grey, Zedd]

------

A/N:

Things are about to get fricked up, just saying.

Vote, Comment, Share

TPWK.

All the love, C. xx