STILL | 𝘯. 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘯 (book 2) ✔

Chapter 85: Drowning.

[There's days that I don't even want it on my mind
But tonight I'm weak]

      I was better now, after having missed an entire week of work, so it was now the weekend. I'm not sure why, but I was missing Gramma way more today more than I had since she died. I was alone today, since I told Niall that I was better and to go work. After lots of convincing, I was finally able to get him to and now I was alone, crying for hours while staring at a picture of Gramma and I.

      I would be going to Lordsburg later this week for a few days for Thanksgiving. I knew Niall didn't celebrate, which was something I never came around to ask him about just because I forgot. But I did and especially now that it was a little bit past a year since Gramma passed. It was a holiday that we always celebrated and since Allie didn't have Gramma to help make the turkey, she would help me like I promised her.

      I stared at the picture in my hand while being wrapped up in the blanket Gramma made me and recalled the millions of memories I had with her. I wiped a tear from under my eye and grabbed my phone. I scrolled through my contacts until I stopped at Gramma's contact. I still had it saved. When I missed her, I would call it even though I knew she wouldn't answer. But her voice mail message was still there and I just felt at ease, hearing Gramma. I sniffled before clicking on it and bringing it up to my ear. The call never connected. "The number you are trying to reach is no longer available." The stupid voice box says. I let out a sob and disconnected the call.

      I tossed my phone to the side and picked the picture back up. Her smile made the wrinkles deepen as she stood next to me. It was my high school graduation, I still wore braces and wore a black cap and gown with an orange scarf around my shoulders. I had an arm around her waist with the other holding my diploma while she held me proudly. I remember how proud she was of me that day. "You're growing up way too fast. Why do you keep growing?" She had asked. I only shrugged and smiled showing the metal stuck to my teeth. "You're going to do great things, I just know it."

      I had jumped when my phone began to ring. I wiped my eyes and nose and checked the caller ID. I sighed and answered it, trying to sound as happy as I could. "Hey, Zayn." I greeted. 

      "Hey, so. The lads and I were wondering if you wanted to go to the movies with us." He says. 

      "Um, n-no-" I silently cursed when I heard my voice crack. "-I have to finish packing." I said, letting out a shaky sigh. 

      "Are you okay, Em? You sound like you're crying." 

      I shook my head, "No. I'm not. I just ran up the stairs. The elevator was getting repaired." I lied. 

      Zayn hummed, "Not believing it. Hang on a sec." 

      "Uh, okay." I heard him say something to the boys and a door open and close. Another door opened and closed before he was back on the line. 

      "Alright, I'm alone. Tell me what's wrong." 

      "Nothing's wrong, Zayn. I promise." I sighed, covering myself more with the blanket. 

      "So if I were to video call you right now, you wouldn't look like you're crying?" I sighed in defeat. 

      "Alright, alright."

      "What's wrong?" I sighed, looking down and and playing with a string from the blanket. 

      "I'm just missing my Gramma right now, Zayn." I sighed. 

      "Oh, Emily." I can hear the sadness in his voice. "I wish I could hug you." He admits. I smile lightly, letting a tear fall. 

      "I could use one of your hugs." I chuckle sadly. 

      "I won't say anything." He assures. 

      I smile, "Thanks, Zayn." 

      "I'll talk to you later." 

      "Alright, say hey to Gigi and the baby for me." 

      "Will do. Love ya." 

      I giggle, "Love you too." I hung up the call and sighed, I hadn't told the boys that I was going home for the weekend, but by the way Zayn didn't question it, I had guessed that he probably expected that I would.

      I don't know how long it'd been since I had fallen asleep before the door jiggled and opened. Niall walked in and shut the door behind him and came to me where I laid on the couch. "What's wrong, pet?" He asks, kneeling beside me. I shrugged, I didn't know anymore. I felt so empty without my Gramma. It was like a big chunk of me was missing. 

      "Nothing," I replied. He obviously knew I was lying. I was never a good liar. 

      "Emily." He drags on my name. 

      "Nothing's wrong, Ni. I just miss my Gramma is all." I sighed, hugging the blanket closer to me. He gave a small smile, rubbing my arm. 

      "I know, you do, darlin'." I sighed again and sat up, rubbing my eyes. 

      "What's up?" I ask.

      "Can't I just come visit my girlfriend after being gone all day?" He questions innocently, sitting next to me. I look over at him in a 'Really?' way and he rolls his eyes in a playful manner. "Alright, alright. I have something very, very, important to ask you." He says. I nod, motioning for him to go on. "Wanna come to Ireland to meet my family?" He asks quickly, making me think that maybe I missed a couple words. Like I said earlier, I hadn't told them that I was going home, but only because nothing was set in stone yet. 

      "When?" 

      "I was thinking that maybe later this week since you said that they gave you those days off." 

      I smiled, "I would love to, Ni." I said with a smile. He smiles, but it falls when I continue to talk. "But I can't."

      "Aw, what? Why not?" He asks with a small pout. 

      "It's Thanksgiving week, Ni. I know you don't celebrate it, which is why I was planning on going home for a few days." I explained. He sighed, sticking out his bottom lip. "Nothing is set, yet, Ni. But, that was the plan." 

      "Can't you make this year an exception?" I shook my head in a 'sorry' way. 

      "Allie wants me to go home to help her make the turkey." I said, sadly. "I'm sorry, bubs. But she's counting on me." He nods, sadly. "If it was any other time besides now..." 

      He nods again, "It's okay, really." I smile lightly. 

      "I promise, one day, you can take me to meet the fam." I press my forehead against his with a smile. 

      He smiles, "Okay." 

      "I love youuu." I drag out the word a little bit, making him chuckle happily. 

      "And I love you."

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[Drowning - Chris Young]

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A/N:

so, hi :) how are you guys?

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All the love, C. xx