STILL | 𝘯. 𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘯 (book 2) ✔

Chapter 77: Still.

[But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest
If honesty means telling you the truth
Well, I'm still in love with you]

TWO WEEKS LATER

      Niall rolled off of me breathlessly, running his hand through his hair in an attempt to straighten it out. His flushed cheeks slowly started to go back to normal as I grabbed a hold of my phone. I tried to slow my breathing as I checked the time, "Shit, I have to go." Ross would be getting to my place at 8:30 and it was already 8. I grabbed my underwear and bra, quickly putting them on. 

      "Already?" I sighed, the guilt had only been growing since Niall and I have been sleeping together and it only made me regret accepting Niall's offer every time.

      I leaned down and grabbed my shirt with a nod, "Uh, yeah. Ross is coming over tonight." I sighed again and slipped my t-shirt over my head. I felt Niall sit up, now finally catching his breath. 

      "Do you have to?" I nodded, slipping one leg into my jeans before the next. 

      "Yes." I stood up and pulled up the jeans, tying them and grabbing my shoes. 

      "Em, you okay?" I kept my gaze on my shoes as I put them on, not answering him. I heard movement coming from his end before he stood in front of me. He now had on his pants and shirt. "Em, look at me." I ignored him and stood up myself, going to grab my bag. "Emily." He stops me and holds me by the shoulders. I avoid looking into his eyes because if I did, I'd only give in and not say anything. And what I have to say needs to be said. "Emily. Please tell me what's wrong." I pursed my lips and looked to the chair sitting in the corner of his bedroom where a sweater that belonged to Heather sat. 

      "Niall, this has to stop." I now look up into his eyes that are full of confusion at what was happening. 

      "What does?" I felt tears beginning to sting my eyes as I motioned between me and Niall. 

      "We have to stop." I explained. His eyebrows furrow and he removes his hands from my arms, leaving a tingly feeling underneath my shirt.

      "What? If I was hurting you, I didn't mean-" 

      I closed my eyes and shook my head as my bottom lip quivered. "No, it's not that." I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. 

      "Then what is it?" The confusion laced in his voice made my heart clench. 

      "Niall, what we're doing isn't a good thing." I said quietly, fearing that my voice would crack. "We're hurting the ones that everyone thinks we're with." 

      Niall took a step back from me, "Is that what you believe?" I nod, looking down and playing with the ring on my middle finger that I wore since my birthday two years ago. "Do you not feel the feelings I feel anymore?" 

      I looked back up at him in disbelief. "Wha-What?" Did he really think that I didn't have feelings for him anymore? "You do realize that we're cheating on Heather and Ross, right?" 

      He nods, "Well yeah-" 

      "It's a terrible thing, Niall!" I sniffled before continuing on with what I was saying. "I had a cousin who was cheated on and it left him broken, Niall. There's no way that I'm letting that happen to Ross. You can go ahead and be a dick and let Heather feel that way, but I'm not." I snapped. I hated that I was snapping at Niall again like I did that day in Japan, but whatever's happening between me and him isn't good for anyone.

      Niall runs his fingers through his hair again, something he did when he was frustrated. "Why?" I scoffed. He had to be kidding. 

      "You're joking, right? Did you not hear the part where I said that we're cheating on Heather and Ross?" 

      Niall sighed, "But we don't even like them." 

      "That doesn't mean anything!" 

      Niall shook his head. "You don't feel anything for me anymore, do you? You actually like Ross and you're just-" 

      I groaned out of frustration. "Niall! Stop assuming things!" 

      "Then tell me why you don't love me anymore!" I felt my heart pound against my chest at his outburst. I wanted to cry and run away, but I had to stand my ground to not seem weak. 

      "Why do you keep thinking that?" My voice was lower this time. My heart was breaking and tears began to finally fall. I uncrossed my crossed arms and let them fall to my sides. I saw Niall's face fall, but he kept it straight. It was obvious that he was attempting to do the same that I was.

      "You don't love me anymore. And that's why you're calling this off." He accuses coming towards me. I pushed him back slightly, taking him by surprise. 

      "Goddammit, Niall!" I almost screamed. "I still love you!" His face softened. I didn't want to admit that I was still in love with Niall. But at times like these, it was the only way out. "Why can't you see that?" My voice was softer now. He didn't respond. I shook my head and grabbed my bag and phone. I speed walked past him and out of his bedroom, soon out of his home.

      I had gotten to my car and tossed my bag to the passenger seat. I sat in the driver's seat and began to get out of his driveway.

      Tears fell as I drove home. Only, I tried to stop them to not risk getting into a car accident. I gave up and pulled into the parking lot of a gas station. I parked to the side and let it all out. I cried and cried until I couldn't anymore. I sniffled and grabbed my phone as it dinged.

From Ross: I'm about to go over. Want me to take anything?

To Ross: If it's not too much to ask, can we reschedule? Not feeling very well and wouldn't want to get you sick.

From Ross: No problem. I'll go over tomorrow afternoon to check up on you. Feel better :)

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[Still - Niall Horan]

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A/N:

i don't have any context. other than, I'VE BEEN SO EXCITED TO UPLOAD THIS CHAPTER OMG SABHFVAJHB

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All the love, C. xx