They Don't Know About Us

|56|

I'm backkkkkk!

"Okay using the bars see can you walk towards the end" Riley says behind me as she takes the crutches off me. I look at the bars wearily but Riley puts her hand on my shoulder, "It's okay you can do this Ellie. And I'll be right here the entire time". I bite my lip but grudgingly nod. I take one last deep breath before I grip the two parallel bars in front of me as I take a small step forward. I slowly inch forward with another 2 small steps forward.

"That's it. Good good" Riley encourages as she hovers behind me, "Cmon a few more steps". When I look up from my feet I internally groan when I see that I'm not even halfway on the bars. Deciding to be a bit more daring I attempt to take a bigger step. But this was a mistake as only after a few steps I was so tired and as I try and take a step, I feel my knee give out underneath me as I crumble to the floor. Before I could hit the ground entirely though, Riley just managed to catch me and soften my landing.

I let out a grunt as my knee hits ground but it's soon replaced by a whimper as pain shoots up my leg. I barely register that Riley is talking to me as it feels as if my knee is pulsing as my leg and spine are on fire. "Are you okay Ellie?" I hear Riley asks.

It's then I just feel something snap

"No! I'm not okay" I scream. "I'm the farthest thing from okay!" I shout at her. I can see her flinch as she backs away from me but in that moment I couldn't find it in me to apologize. "I'm in so much pain all the time and I'm just so tired of all the pain and all the constant steps backwards. I hate all the pity looks and the constant feeling of uselessness that I can't even do simple tasks anymore. I want it to stop. I just want it all to stop".

I just feel drained as I sit crumpled on the floor. I couldn't even tuck my legs into my chest because of my leg. I run my hands through my hair tugging at my roots in frustration. I can feel my body shake in pure anger and frustration as I start to rock lightly trying desperately to ignore the throbbing pain shooting up my leg. But just as I feel like I'm about to fall into an abyss.

She saves me

Her arms wrap around me in a protective layer almost as if shielding me from all my negative thoughts, "Shush Lee its okay. It's okay. Your okay". I feel myself relax slightly under her soft whispers as her hands go to mine and gently untangle my fingers from my hair replacing them with her own as she soothingly massages my scalp. She shifts me into her lap as she slowly starts to rock us back and forth.

I just clutch onto her while she just starts to hum some random tune in hopes of distracting me enough to calm down which thankfully works as I just tuck my head under her chin as I listen to her heartbeat.

"I'm sorry" I mumble into her jumper. She shakes her head and kisses the crown of my head, "It's okay. Today was just a bad day. You don't need to be sorry". I scoff lightly, "I've been having a lot of those lately". "And they will pass Lee, you just got to give it time" she says softly. "How do you know?" I ask. But she just kisses my forehead, "Because your Elliot frickin Griffin! One of the best soccer players in the world. Even better human being. Your going to overcome this and show everyone that you are stronger than this. That there is nothing that can stop Elliot Griffin from achieving what she wants".

I go to nod but swallow the lump in my throat, "What if I don't?" This makes her pull back and look at me as I sigh, "I'm just so tired Jess. I'm just so tired of it all. All the nightmares, the pain, feeling like a burden all of it. I just want it all to stop Jess. I just want it to stop".

She doesn't say anything and instead moves me out of her lap and pushes herself off the ground, "Jessie?" But she just holds a hand out to me, "Cmon Lee". I sigh but take her hand as her helps me gently off the ground. She quickly played around on her phone before I hear the familiar song fill the exercise room. "Jessie" I sigh but I can't help the smile tugging at my face as I think of all the memories surrounding this song.