If we were lovers|Sirius Black

Conviction.

*~Mature scenes ahead~*

Darkness engulfed the castle as the cold November air pushed all the students to retreat to the warmth of their dorm rooms. All except Bexley. Standing on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, she looked up at the stars, stories had been told that when you die, that's where you go, all those stars were souls, content with their position in the night sky, guiding the mere mortals.

"Does it hurt?" Bexley whispered to them. "Some say, it's quicker than falling asleep-"

"Bexley? What are you doing out here? It's freezing!" The friendly groundskeeper came striding towards her, Fang at his feet, she didn't notice how cold she was until his soft body rubbed against her legs.

"Hagrid, I'm sorry I was just-" What exactly had she been doing? Talking to thin air, praying for some form of guidance on what death would feel like. Maybe it wasn't as morbid as everyone said, maybe it wasn't cold, maybe it was warm, pulling you into peace.

"Come on, let's have a pot of tea." Oh, how much Bexley longed for the simplicity of life, the days where tea could fix everything. Nevertheless, she obliged and followed Hagrid into his home, watching tranquilly as he poured the tea, settling in front of her, there was a knowing in his eyes. "They don't always give the right answer." He spoke before taking a gulp of tea.

"I hoped they would." Bexley chuckled before sipping hers, clinging to her cup like it was life itself, the warmth spread through her fingertips, abolishing her goosebumps.

"Now, I know I may just be a groundskeeper, but I'm an awful good listener. You know, dragons, they're good listeners, hell of good listeners, in fact-" Bexley didn't get a word in edgeways that evening, but she didn't mind, not one bit. Listening to Hagrid ramble on about creatures and his absolute adoration for them, it was calming, it was a reminder of what it was like to be alive, to have your heartbeat for someone or something other than yourself. Because when you left, your turmoil ended, but it didn't for those left behind. For those left behind, it was only the start of their suffering and Bexley knew she couldn't do that to them, because what kind of love was that? This thought stayed with her as she welcomed the warmth of her dormitory, instead of getting in her bed, she scooted in with Lily.

"Just me." She whispered as Lily turned to face her. "Hi."

"We wouldn't function without you. Let alone Sirius, he worships the ground you walk on Bexley. He loves you against all reason."

"I know."

"I don't think you do. Because I can't do it, I can't live without you, sure, I'll keep breathing, I'll keep moving, I'll do my daily tasks, but I won't live. I won't ever know what that feels like again, I refuse to do this without you." Placing a hand on her cheek, Bexley brushed the hair from Lily's forehead and rested her forehead against hers.

"You'll know that feeling," Bexley uttered, placing a hand on Lily's tummy. "He'll give you that feeling, he'll give you a reason."

"He?" Lily looked down to Bexley's hand and back up at her friend, tears pooling in her eyes, the girls cradled her tummy and the gift of life which would come from within it.

***

"Thought I'd find you here." Bexley stood in front of Remus, curled in front of a tree overlooking the black lake, swamped in blankets and a book resting in his lap. "Shuffle over." Remus did so, inviting her into his sanctuary of warmth. "How are you?"

"Oh you know, waiting for another month of pain." Remus smiled sadly at which Bexley rested her head on his shoulder, taking in the smell of chocolate which seemed embedded into his clothing.

"I'm sorry. And for scaring you all earlier." Remus wrapped his arm around his sister, pulling her closer.

"I've only just got you back, I don't intend on losing you anytime soon." Sinking into his arms, they watched the frost begin to settle and the sky turn dark and light all at once. Admiring the constellations, Bexley thanked them for their guidance as her mind turned to Sirius. The boy who simply was indefinable, whilst language allowed them to say 'I love you' it restricted them in feeling, 'love' didn't seem a potent enough word for them. Deciding it was far too cold to remain out anymore, they headed back to the castle in comfortable silence, the sound of their feet on the crunchy grass and their steady breathing was enough. Strong arms wrapped around Bexley's waist, nuzzling into her neck, the familiar tickle of Sirius's hair brought a smile to her face.

"Wonder if I could steal her off you Moony?"

"Treat her right Black." Remus rolled his eyes, kissing Bexley's cheek good night, she allowed Sirius to lead her to their sanctuary, the one Hogwarts seemed to have built for them.

"Home sweet home." Sirius collapsed onto the sofa, pulling Bexley on top of him, her legs wrapped either side of her lap, it was evident where this was going. Running her fingers through his hair, Sirius leaned into Bexley's hand, causing her heart to flutter. How could she even consider leaving him? "What's wrong baby?" His cooing made her body melt.

"I'm not leaving you, ever. People talk about soul mates and I never really believed in all that. How could one person be so perfect for you? And then, you, Sirius Black. You proved how right I was, you're my utter opposite and yet somehow, I find myself falling further and further in love with you. I thought it was one fall, and that was it, in love, but it's not, with you, it's a constant falling feeling. It's extraordinary."

"You have all the devotions of my heart." His lips attacked her neck, hot and swollen littering her collarbones with hues of purple, matching with his hues of red. In a swift movement, Sirius was hovering on top of her, their hands undressed each other before Sirius placed them firmly on her waist and Bexley's on his shoulders. Feeling him brush against her alone made Bexley's back arch, flush against Sirius. Without warning, he slipped inside her, returning to the comfort of her. Slow and intimate at first, hunger got the better of them as Sirius's hips moved faster, holding Bexley's hand above her head, twining their fingers together the Room of Requirements was filled with moans and the sound of skin on skin.

"Fuck." Bexley cursed in his ear and he buried his face into her neck, going deeper into her as her legs were thrown over his shoulder, each thrust hit her g-spot, sending her body into a spiral of euphoria.

"Is this okay?" Bexley nodded in response, her eyes tight shut as Sirius kissed all along her neck, their mouths met as they reached their orgasm together, persuing the kiss, their lips never parting as they moaned into each others mouth. Sirius's hips slowed down as they gently rolled against Bexley's trembling body, yet his thumb rubbed slow teasing circles over her bud of nerves, delivering a feeling like no other. As Sirius's breath began to regulate, Bexley's was still shuddering as he laid on top of her.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry I-"

"Shh. I'm okay, I'm ecstatic." Sirius watched her face worried as her eyes fluttered closed once again, indulging in the feeling.

"Deification," Sirus mumbled against her chest, Bexley's fingers stopped stroking his hair as she looked at him. "It's the only word I can think of to barely summarize how I feel about you." Resting his chin on her chest, his eyes said everything language failed to equip them with.

"Sirius." She was lost without him.

"Bexley?" He was her purpose.

"I need you, forever and always." Her thoughts had never been clearer as she gazed at him and as she asked him, nothing in the world felt more right. "Marry me?" Sirius sat up slightly, scanning her face for any doubt, any regret at her question, yet her face was the picture of sanity, the embodiment of conviction and devotion.

"Bexley Black does have a nice ring to it."

"Yes?" Bexley questioned fervently.

"Yes."

__________________________
WHAT!! How did I write that without screaming? I have no idea. For research purposes, would yall be interested in a Professor Lupin fanfic?
M🕺